Weekend Predictions parlay: NCAA over Auburn, Johnson over Richt

Before getting to this week’s big game between Mark Richt and the coach who has sometimes ruined his drives home, this update from the NCAA’s petri dish:

Auburn, the traditional center of the SEC’s germ universe, recently celebrated its basketball program moving into the FBI’s top-10 rankings following the arrest of an assistant coach, who shockingly works for Bruce Pearl, who’s as pure as the driven snow, assuming the snow is falling over Chernobyl.

This follows the abrupt “retirement” of the softball coach after sexual-harassment complaints by players, stemming from the raging hormonal pursuits/conquests of the coach’s son (who perhaps has a future in Hollywood).

A live shot of the Auburn athletic department.

There’s more. Auburn’s former baseball coach was fired for breaking NCAA rules. The problem was the NCAA later determined he didn’t break rules. So he’s suing the school for wrongful termination.

This leaves open the possibility the coach was fired for NOT breaking rules. At least that’s what I’m going with.

And now this: There are allegations, first reported by ESPN, that a part-time academic support-staff member took a final exam for at least one football player from the 2015 team. Auburn issued a strong denial. We’re waiting for the punchline.

NCAA enforcement staff prepares to move into Auburn again.

Hey, look at this way: At least this possible corruption involves only a part-timer. When you think about it, that makes good economic sense because Auburn doesn’t have to pay the employee benefits and it keeps full-timers like coaches on the other side of the spit guard, just like in all of those old mafia movies and corporate weasel America.

Louisville wants to be Auburn when it grows up.

The law firm representing Auburn and athletic director Jay Jacobs (still free) has plans to expand its office to include a game room, a movie theater, a spa and a new employee parking lot to accommodate all of the Lamborghinis, Escalades and boats the partners will soon be purchasing.

Instead of the Mexican border, can we just put a wall around the Auburn campus?

And now, back to germ-free football:

Georgia Tech has rushed for 839 yards in its past two games. They had a bye to ice their feet. Miami has won four consecutive, including last week at Florida State. Mark Richt, the former Georgia coach, seems genuinely happy again. Good for him. But I suspect that’s about to end.

Johnson beat Georgia twice in Athens when Richt was there (2008 and 2014). So killing Richt’s good vibes comes natural to him. I’m also not convinced there’s much difference between these two teams right now, and the combination of Tech being rested and Miami potentially having a letdown after last week is enough to push me over the edge.

So calling an upset. Take the gift 5½, but Jackets win this straight up. This week’s parlay: NCAA over Auburn, Tech over Miami.

School Daze

“Hey, guys. How do you like me now?” (Getty Images)

Missouri at Georgia: The Bulldogs are 6-0 and have won their first three SEC games by an average score of 39-6, so it follows that they’re favored by 30, give or take a major organ. Mizzou has allowed 200 points in five games, but this still counts as a conference win. Dogs cover it all.

Auburn at LSU: Les Miles returns for a halftime ceremony honoring the 2007 national championship team. Ed Orgeron was a lot of more popular when he wasn’t the head coach, either. Auburn covers 7.

Virginia at North Carolina: The Tar Heels are an underdog. At home. To Virginia. What could the NCAA possibly do to make them worse? Cavaliers cover 3½.

Vanderbilt at Mississippi: The Ole Miss human resources department officially listed an opening for “Head Football Coach” on its jobs site and it states, “Knowledge of and commitment to compliance with all NCAA, conference … rules and regulations (is) essential.” So clearly they’re going in a different direction from Hugh Freeze. Rebels cover 3½.

Arkansas at Alabama: Nick Saban said the media is like “rat poison” for writing good things about his football team. Ah, hell. Might as well go back to mocking if he can’t even muster a thank you.  Most overrated team ever and its geranium of a coach cover 28.

Texas A&M at Florida: The Gators plan to wear “swamp green” uniforms with an “alligator-skin” jersey, as Nike continues to cause world-wide nausea and blind little children with all of the colors that were rejected by Crayola. Upset alert: Aggies win straight up (take the gift 2½).

South Carolina at Tennessee: Butch Jones said his team is coming off “one of the best bye weeks we’ve had here” and downplayed the importance of what quarterback takes reps with the first-team offense because the backup can get a “leadership rep.” I look forward to the NFL draft when scouts break down leadership reps on film. Vols cover 3½.

Butch, the salesman

Florida State at Duke: One of these teams may not make it to a bowl. I’m not talking about Duke. But Seminoles cover 7.

National Revenue Streams League

Mike Pence on his way out of the Indianapolis Colts’ game.

(Buy any two games and win a free Mike Pence puppet, complete with strings and interchangeable Mr. Potato head faces for orchestrated indignant moments during anthems.)

Miami at Falcons: It has been a great week for the Dolphins. Their offensive line coach resigned after a selfie video of him snorting a yard line in his office was exposed by his stripper (“model”) girlfriend, and their starting quarterback, Jay Cutler, now ranks 30th in efficiency rating, 31st in yards per attempt and 32nd in personality. Almost makes Matt Ryan’s five interceptions look trivial. Almost. Birds cover 12.

Giants at Broncos: New York fans are divided on whether players should stand or kneel for the national anthem. But they’re united on them leaving before the game starts. Broncos cover 11½.

Lions at Saints: New Orleans coach Sean Payton called trading running back Adrian Peterson to Arizona a “win-win,” conveniently forgetting that’s he’s the one who brought him in as a centerpiece of the offseason. So isn’t this more a surrender? Saints win, but take Detroit and 5.

Sean Payton on his “win-win” trade

Packers at Vikings: Aaron Rodgers has 10 touchdowns and one interception in three wins since losing to the Falcons. I’m glad that game helped one team. Cheese covers 3.

Steelers at Chiefs: Kansas City is 5-0. Ben Roethlisberger threw five interceptions against Jacksonville and may be done. When something seems too obvious, it is. I picked up that wisdom from a guy standing next to me at the roulette wheel one night. Take the 4½, but Steelers win in a straight upset.

Toteboard

“Italians come to ruin most generally in three ways, women, gambling, and farming. My family chose the slowest one.” — Pope John XXIII

Last week: 8-5 straight up, 6-7 against the line

Through six weeks: 62-16 straight up, 43-34-1 against the line.

Sack Schultz 2017: Another solid week in contest picks (12-3) leaves me with a record of 64-24 and in 24th place. Last week’s winners of weekly prizes were LeRoy Ward (Atlanta) and Kristi McDonald (Florence, Ala.), who both went 14-1. To enter, go to AJC.com/sackschultz2017.

Lilly’s pick:  Lilly (3-2) returns from her one-week suspension to pick the Tech-Miami game. Paul Johnson on the left, Mark Richt on the right, cheese all over both. Lilly goes … right. Richt/Miami win.

 

Lilly and I are split on this game. But I let her have the cheese on both pictures.

Subscribe to the,We Never Played The Game” podcast with the AJC’s Jeff Schultz and WSB’s Zach Klein on iTunes. Episodes also can be downloaded from on-demand link on WSBRadio.com.

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Reader Comments 0

348 comments
panacifuga
panacifuga

juŚt ĀŚ CurtiŚ rÈŚponDÈD I cĀnnot bÈliÈvÈ thĀt you ĀblÈ to ΜĀkÈ $5018 in onÈ Μonth on thÈ intÈrnÈt. hĀvÈ you rÈĀD thiŚ wÈb ŚitÈ ᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵwww.7jobline.com

Hell Horsey
Hell Horsey

Another Atlanta loss is always a safe bet.

Grant1296
Grant1296

Hey Dummy..

Second place in the Big Ten LEAST..

TideDawg
TideDawg

Hey! Knock the Tide, knock me, I don't care. The Tide is who they are and the truth plays out on the field. Take your best shot, just make it a good one.

larryemc
larryemc

What mean comments about Auburn Jeff! A little fun is ok, but you went well beyond that. But, afterall, you write for the AJC.  Just remember what goes around, comes around. 

OH:IO
OH:IO

Hey dog fan, one of your conferences had a tough night last night 


ACC! AC!!


Hey lil wally, TWO top ten go down on a Friday night and the defending National Champs were one of them. 

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@OH:IO It is a shame ,just when we all thought Clemsoning was over, clemmons gets out oranged by Syracuse.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO: "ACC! AC!!"

______________

"AC"???

STILL waiting, lying hypocrite.

Big Wally
Big Wally

Hey Blowhio, does Larry Culpepper teach those Sports Industry classes at OSU? Do the students get complimentary Doctor Peppers?

Big Wally
Big Wally

Remember folks, the world is always a safer place when one of Urban Meyer's recruits is behind bars.

OH:IO
OH:IO

Yo dogs, don't look behind you. 

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO How is Urban's recruiting class looking this year?  Any future rapists, murderers, assault and battery suspects.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Big Wally @OH:IO


Um, I believe it currently #1 in the country. And this on top of a record 2017 class. Thanks for asking. 

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Wonder what happens to those recruits when they go up there?

0-31?

16-31?

Miserable record vs SEC?

Not a single win in history vs UGA, FSU, Clemson, SC, etc.

You're welcome.

OH:IO
OH:IO

Yo dogs, has the playoff invite arrived yet?


Nope. It's October 14 and the Bama/Clemson CG was a lock. 



TOJacket
TOJacket

Dawgs are already #3...long as they win!.....as Kramer used to say...Giddy UP!!

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

Hey 31: OH: Buck: NO guess what? It is 2017 and you are Irrelevant!

Mayfield stuck that thing like a pro. Bawahwahwahwah

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

2006 = destroyed

2007 = destroyed

2016 = destroyed

2017 = Flag planted

#tradition

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

DawgNole 1 hour ago

@OH:IO

And what's your team's record against UGA, FSU, Clemson, SC, SEC, the last two decent teams you played?

Facts are stubborn. Own them!

Mental problem getting abused again.

Mulk
Mulk

@twelveofthirteen So, only 2017 matters to you but you "borrow" archives with data from Dognole that have years of history?

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

Hey mommy got pregnant by the mulkman. why don't you get over yourself?

OH:IO
OH:IO

dogs have not won a NC since last century.


dogs have not made the playoffs in the playoff era. 


Facts are stubborn and Bawaha Wah Wah is a dog. 


Own him.

Grant1296
Grant1296

I already own you..

No need for anymore...

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO With all those Sports Industry majors, heck you should at least be able to score in a playoff game there Larry Culpepper.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

And what's your team's record against UGA, FSU, Clemson, SC, SEC, the last two decent teams you played?

Facts are stubborn. Own them!

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@OH:IO I prefer recent history Buckeye, just don't drop another game this year or it is Crapitol one for the Buckeyes.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@twelveofthirteen Another proud recruit from Urban Meyer.  It's a fact, the world is a little bit safer every time one of Urban's recruits gets put behind bars.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO @Big Wally See any similarities between him and Ezekiel Elliott?  Let's see how long this is going to take you.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO @Big Wally Once he gets out, I'm sure he will be able to put that Sports Industry degree to good work. "Get your Doctor Pepper here", "Get your Doctor Pepper here"

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO @Big Wally "Dunn, who graduated in May, was entering his fifth season in the Buckeyes program before his dismissal".   Another 30 year buckeye career down the tubes.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

urban also recruited him.

Did urban kick Aaron Hernandez of the team?

Educate your own self.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@twelveofthirteen Sports Industry?  Who taught the class, Larry Culpepper? 

bwahaahahaaahah.

and TO coming to Blowhio's rescue in 3............2............1 

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

Which team is better this season UT or Miami?

We all know UT laid 42 points on tech (zero on UGA).

How many will Miami score?

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

Toilet paper???

Well you would know about that, with your depraved scatological obsessions.