According to the internet, which almost never forgets, but sometimes gets lost in Russian translation, and can be as nourishing as natural resources like water, except when it’s turned into the Potomac or Twitter, there have been several significant moments in history on Oct. 15, including: (1793) Marie Antoinette was sentenced to her finish line and beheaded; (1815) Napoleon was condemned and exiled; Mata Hari was executed by firing squad and (2008) the Dow Jones average closed down 733.08 points, the second biggest drop in average in history behind only Matt Kemp.
On a lighter note, Georgia lost to Vanderbilt in Athens on homecoming last Oct. 15. That’s almost as bad as LSU losing to Troy on homecoming, but it’s not really fair to compare the two because there’s “normal bad” and then there’s “Ed Orgeron bad,” which exists on another plane, in another dimension, but with a much funnier accent.
This was Kirby Smart after losing 17-16 to Vandy, which saw a team with Nick Chubb and Sony Michel rush for a season-low 75 yards.
And: “It’s embarrassing.”
And: “I’m sick to my stomach.”
And: “I may start talking swamp-gas Cajun soon. Where’s Nick?” (Actually, that’s just me reading his thoughts.)
It was the worst homecoming since “Carrie.”
Georgia is 5-0 and ranked No. 5 in the nation. I think former LSU coach Les Miles, who’s in quite a good mood these days, put it best on his podcast when he said Georgia’s chances in the SEC: “I don’t see the rest of the East side being worth a stink.”
The stink of last season isn’t quite gone. But it’s dissipating. ($5 word that roughly translates to, “OK. I don’t miss Mark Richt anymore.”)
This week, Georgia goes to Vanderbilt.
OMG — it’s homecoming!
Why did you do this, Vandy?
Georgia is favored by 17½. Not. Enough. Welcome to Smashville. Dogs win and cover.
Thursday Night Special
Louisville at N.C. State: According to a Louisville Courier-Journal study, suspended athletic director Tom Jurich earned $5.3 million in salary and a vesting annuity last year, exceeding the entire budgets for the biology ($3.3 million), English ($3.4 million), history ($2.4 million) and mathematics ($3.5 million) departments. So yeah, crime pays. Take the 3½ and Wolfpack in a straight upset.
Back To School
Georgia State at Coastal Carolina: Here’s a cookie for Panthers coach Shawn Elliott. His team’s passing offense is ranked 78th in the nation. Georgia is ranked 118th. Panthers cover 1.
LSU at Florida: LSU paid Troy $985,000 and then lost to them on homecoming. So that probably eliminates any chance of Ed Orgeron getting a job in the Sun Belt. Or Whataburger. So how’s Les Miles’ outdated offense looking now, Tiger Town? Gators cover 3.
Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark
Alabama at Texas A&M: Alabama has won its first two SEC games by a combined score of 125-3. Nick Saban loosened up and gave everybody a celery stick. Tide covers 26½.
Miami at Florida State: Miami has won eight consecutive dating to last season, which sounds a lot better than saying they’ve beaten Pitt, Virginia, N.C. State, Duke, West Virginia (OK, that’s one), Bethune-Cookman, Toledo and Duke again. I think FSU increases their strength of schedule. Not sure, though. Canes cover 3.
Welcome to Miami’s opponent aisle
Mississippi at Auburn: Sour ex-Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt said he never intended to get Hugh Freeze fired with his defamation suit, which led to finding other dirt in Freeze’s closet, and that’s probably true. That was just a bonus. Tigers cover 22½.
Tennessee (off): A Betonline.com prop bet has listed Chip Kelly as the favorite to be the next Tennessee coach. There’s a better chance Butch Jones replaces Nick Saban at Alabama. Bye covers 3.
Chip to Knoxville, Butch to Bama
While Falcons Sit In Ice Bucket
Packers at Cowboys: NFL.com’s Ian Rapaport reported that Donald Trump phoned Dallas owner Jerry Jones four times before last Monday’s game, pleading with him to have the Cowboys stand for the national anthem. It would be so much easier if everybody just followed directions, like in North Korea. Cheese covers 2.
Panthers at Lions: A female reporter asked a football question to Cam Newton, and he responded with a sexist remark. The dude still can’t read simple coverage. Detroit covers 2½.
Seahawks at Rams: Former Georgia star Todd Gurley has 596 yards from scrimmage and seven touchdowns in four games, joining Jim Brown and Emmitt Smith. Imagine what his autograph in the back seat of a Chevy would be worth now? Seattle stinks on the road. L.A. covers 1.
Chargers at Giants: Odell Beckham said a Tampa Bay player came up to him after last week’s game and said, “You know, we know a lot of what you’re doing,” which probably explains why the Giants are 0-4 and rank 30th in scoring. Fortunately, they play an FCS team this week. New York covers 3.
Meanwhile, back in Chargers’ “home” city
Chiefs at Texans: Kansas City is the last remaining undefeated team, which would be great except for the fact that last year’s only 4-0 teams (Denver and Minnesota) both missed the playoffs. Feelin’ like going the other way. Houston wins a pick ’em.
Jets at Browns: There’s a scene in “Take The Money And Run” where I think Woody Allen has a choice of life in prison or 24 hours in a basement with an insurance salesman. I’m thinking watching this game would be worse than either. Meanwhile, K.C. has won as many games this season (4-0) as Cleveland has won in its past 37 (4-33). Jets cover 1.
Last week (feh): 11-3 straight up, 7-7 against the line
Through 5 weeks: 54-11 straight up, 37-27-1 against the line.
Sack Schultz 2017: I went a scintillating 13-2 in contest picks last week to climb into 49th place in the standings. Two weekly winners/cheaters went 15-0: Kevin Kuglar of Acworth and Clint Thompson of Trinity, Ala. To enter, go to AJC.com/sackschultz2017.
Lilly’s pick: Lilly (3-2) was suspended this week for circumventing MLB’s illegal Petsmart international aisle-6 signing rules — and also for predicting Tennessee would beat Georgia, which she whiffed by only 41 points. She will return next week after being de-wormed.
Lilly’s trying to sleep this off
PODCAST: Fresh “We Never Played The Game Podcast” on John Coppolella’s resignation, with the AJC’s David O’Brien. Click here.
Subscribe to the, “We Never Played The Game” podcast with the AJC’s Jeff Schultz and WSB’s Zach Klein on iTunes. Episodes also can be downloaded from on-demand link on WSBRadio.com.
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