HOUSTON — The Falcons will play in the Super Bowl at some point against New England. But before the merciful arrival of the game at the end of the week, players and coaches will have to navigate through a series of “news” conferences, the first of which was Monday’s “Opening Night,” the NFL mutation formerly known as “Media Day.”
I will credit the league for at least moving this exercise up a day from its former slot on Tuesday, to at least get it out of the way. But if there’s one consistency about this event, it’s that it never fails to provide inane questions from non-mainstream media sites and/or creatures holding the microphones.
Below are some pictures, as we continue our occasional series, “Digi-Blog goes to…”
Here’s a sampling of silliness.
• To the Falcons’ Julio Jones: “Are you related to Julio Iglesias?”
• Also to Jones: “Are you wearing a cup now?” (Answer: No.)
• Also to Jones (he was popular), from a guy dressed up as “Ed from Good Burger News”: Can I take your order. Jones: “I don’t eat burgers. I don’t eat beef or pork. Do you have any chicken?”
• From Jalen Collins: “Somebody said to me, ‘We’re going to do the interview. But when I ask you something, don’t do the interview.’ I’m like, alright.”
• To Rasheed Hageman: “Do you like lollipops?” (Answer: No) That was followed up by, “Do you like pickles?” (“On my sandwiches, yes.”)
• To Robert Alford: “Can you do a light-skinned impersonation?” (He passed. And no, I had idea what that would sound like, either.)
• To Vic Beasley: “What year did man walk on the moon?” and also, “What does NASA stand for?”
Meanwhile, on some distant planet . . .
Attention aspiring journalists: This is as good as it gets in your profession. Not really. But there’s free food and you can walk around and take notes about everybody else’s dumb questions, which gives one a sense of purpose and superiority. I think. Did I mention there was free food?
One of the trays is empty. What the hell kind of operation are they running here?
Somebody asked this woman for the Mexican television network TV Azteca why she keeps coming back to the Super Bowl and I swear this was her answer: “I like to see the faces of the all the journalists.” I’m just going to leave that right there.
I have no idea who they were, what they were asking or why anybody was talking to them. But I overheard they were from Austria. This is why the World League failed. Also, I’m pretty sure the clock behind the bearded bride was ticking down to the end of the world.
The Falcons hope to get closer to Tom Brady that I did. What you see here is part of his face. I could not get close enough to ask a question or hear him deflect one but I’m told that, yes, he was asked about his good friend Donald Trump, the president, and his immigration policy and this was his answer: “I’m a positive person. I want the best for everybody.” Roger Goodell will address later this week whether that response was a suspendable offense.
This is New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft. He is outlining his plane to take over the world.
Here’s Matty … Dry Ice? He threw 38 touchdown passes this season. There actually was a funny moment when Ryan was asked on the spot to name all 13 receivers he threw touchdown passes and as far as I could tell he could only name 10. He forgot Justin Hardy, Patrick DiMarco and Josh Perkins.
A woman with a microphone told New England coach Bill Belichick that he looked quite dapper in a suit and tie. “Don’t you usually wear hoodies? I didn’t recognize you,” she said. Belichick responded, “I’ll probably have one on before the end of the week. Maybe then you’ll recognize me.”
I’m sure there’s supposed to be some message here about Texas and big hats or something. But I just see a dumb guy with a dumb hat and a jacket that could double as carpeting in a Las Vegas casino.
This is “Ed from Good Burger,” a character from a 1997 comedy movie, “Good Burger.”I didn’t see it. But players played along because the alternative was being asked the same questions they were going to be asked for the next three days.
And the countdown to Sunday continues.
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