Weekend Predictions: Dogs over Jackets, NCAA over Notre Dame

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Before we get to this week’s game matching two teams that started 3-0 and were still national championship contenders in late September — and then, pop goes the bubble — this update from the world of weaseldom: Brian Kelly, go to your room.

In case you missed it during your seventh feeding at the stuffing-and-gravy trough or while plotting your strategy to wake up at 4:15 a.m. so you can save $1 on sweatpants and 12 cents on Play-Doh, the NCAA pounded Notre Dame over the head. The cheatin’ Irish were stripped of 21 wins in 2012 and 2013 for academic misconduct, which included a student trainer doing classwork for two football players and providing extra academic benefits for six others.

Had Notre Dame become a full-time member of the ACC in football, it probably could have avoided probation for 87 years. It seems to have worked for North Carolina.

Back to Kelly. He claims no knowledge and no culpability for the infractions: “Zero. Absolutely none.”

So a head coach says a trainer went rogue. And the overseer of every living thing in major college football program accepts no responsibility for an academic scandal, even though he’s an employee of an academic institution. Welcome to the moral high ground of South Bend.

That laughter you hear is from Brian VanGorder in Athens. He was fired by Kelly two months ago and Georgia just brought back its former defensive coordinator to help game plan for Tech. Georgia effectively has three former/current defensive coordinators in the building: Kirby Smart, Mel Tucker, VanGorder. Great. Each can take a man in the triple option.

So it’s the Dogs vs. the Jackets in the Schizophrenia Bowl. I can give you great reasons why either will lose. But Georgia has Nick Chubb and Isaiah McKenzie and looks just good enough on the defensive line to lead you to think they might be getting better.

And so, I accept all responsibility for this: Georgia wins (and covers four).

It’s that time again

School Daze

Auburn at Alabama: The Tide has won 23 straight games and lost one at home game in the last four years (Ole Miss last season in Tuscaloosa). To all Auburn fans who’ve believed for weeks an upset is coming, may I suggest a soothing cup of hot cocoa and a reviewing of the Kick Six in 2013 because that’s as close as you’re getting to Iron Bowl serenity. Bammy covers 17.

Auburn fans: live in the past

South Carolina at Clemson: Will Muschamp on his team practicing on Thanksgiving: “Thanksgiving is a meal, not a day.” Not the way I eat. Not a good day for poultry in general. Tigers wins but take the Gamecocks and 24.

Florida at Florida State: The Gators tied the SEC record for the worst East champion since, well, last year.  But they have a shot in this game if Jimbo Fisher doesn’t stop looking at listings on Zillow. Naw. Seminoles cover 7.

Butch Jones.

Butch Jones.

hi-res-d448f2397607635731af8aadb1e46e7f_crop_north

Oompa Loompa.

Tennessee at Vanderbilt: I had dreams of Florida losing last week and the Vols needing to win this game to win the East, then losing, because it would be such a Tennessee thing to do and I’m evil in that way. But half that may still happen. If you thought Butch Jones looked like a big Oompa Loompa before: Take the 7 and Vandy in a straight upset.

N.C. State at North Carolina: Something I did not know until I just looked it up: North Carolina won the first six meetings between the teams 204-0. Of course, the NCAA is still investigating the 1895 team for academic fraud. They’re a little slow. Heels cover 11½.

Boston College at Wake Forest: These two play each other because they’re the leftovers in rivalry week. They’re like the last two kids picked in a dodge ball game. (You can’t get deep research like this everywhere.) But I kinda like Wake. The Demonics cover 3.

B.C./Wake player seen near end of this

Kentucky at Louisville: Not hoops. Moving on.

Mississippi State at Mississippi: Dan Mullen said he is looking into how a 5-7 team can make it into a bowl. Well, for starters: Don’t go 5-7. Somebody egg that man. Hey, Egg Bowl! Rebels cover 7½.

Duke at Miami: Mark Richt’s record is about to be the same (8-4, 5-3) as last year’s Miami team. Fortunately, his name isn’t Al Golden. Canes cover 15.

Pros and Cons

Cardinals at Falcons: Just when everybody was jumping on the Falcons’ bandwagon, they inadvertently made that Wile E. Coyote mistake when he tied the TNT fuse to his big toe and they lost at Philly. Boom. Arizona’s a talented and desperate 4-5-1 team. Bad combo. But coming off a bye, home birds win and cover 4.

80 great moments in Falcons’ history

49ers at Dolphins: It’s a rematch of Super Bowl XIX (XXXII Roman years ago), matching Joe Montana vs. Dan Marino. I was there. Chiseled a hell of a game story on a tablet. Niners have lost nine straight, so I guess this qualifies Chip Kelly to be the next Browns’ coach. Fish cover 8.

Giants at Browns: Cleveland (0-11) has started five different quarterbacks in the last two seasons and 18 since 2007. If you can name at least half, you can start next week. New York covers 7.

Green Bay Packers stockholders are not taking this slump very well.

Green Bay Packers stockholders are not taking this slump very well.

Packers at Eagles: Green Bay has dropped four straight and is toast in the playoff race, and now there are stories about how Aaron Rodgers hasn’t spoken to his parents or brothers for two years and it’s all girlfriend Olivia Munn’s fault. Well, the good news is, Olivia Munn is way too hot to date lousy quarterbacks so that might not be a problem much longer. Eagles cover 3½.

Panthers at Raiders: The same Oakland team the Falcons beat in Week 2 has gone 7-1 since. This is playing right into the Raiders’ hands: Get everybody excited, sucker local politicians into a stadium deal and shelve the move to another city. The 1 Percent Suckers Playbook. Raiders win but take Carolina and 3½.

Patriots at Jets: Since returning from a suspension, Tom Brady has 16 touchdowns, 1 interception and a league-leading efficiency rating of 123.3. Imagine what’s going to happen when he gets into a groove. Pats win but take the Jets and 8.

Sack Schultz update

sack-schultz-logoI’ve been sacked and I can’t get up. But congrats to last week’s winners, Alyssa Myers of Johns Creek and Calvin Vice of Tallahassee, Fla., who each went 13-2. There are several contenders for the two grand prizes — two tickets to the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl (college playoff semifinal) and a $2,500 Apple Vacation or $2,500 cash. To check out the standings, go to myajc.com/go/sackschultz2016

Scorecard

images“If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: The rules of the game,
the stakes and the quitting time.” — Chinese Proverb.

Last week: 12-4 straight up, 10-5-1 against the line.

Bottom dollars: 112-51-1 straight up, 79-81-4 against the line.

Lilly’s pick: Lilly returns this week for serving a suspension for a dreadful losing streak and refusing to take performance-enhancing Milkbones. Her choices this week were cheese’d pictures of Uga (left) and Buzz (right). Lilly went left: Dogs win.

Lilly, looking for a slump-buster this week, is going with Georgia.

Lilly, looking for a slump-buster this week, is going with Georgia.

Subscribe for free to the, “We Never Played The Game” podcast with Jeff Schultz and WSB’s Zach Klein on iTunes. All episodes can be downloaded and heard on iTunes or here via WSBRadio.com. New episodes every Monday and Thursday.

For the Thanksgiving edition of the podcast, click here

For previous episodes of Weekend Predictions, click here

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Reader Comments 0

35 comments
Chloe Brown
Chloe Brown

Poor Lilly! That's the nicest thing that I can say here...

Hookedonshortpasses
Hookedonshortpasses

Best pass call in 4th quarter while leading....EVER!   Was that a "smart" call?

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

You Can't spell CHOKES without a CKS! A joke of a coaching effort by Smart and Chaney. From the time of the Dogs defensive stop on a TECH 4th down Play, Smart and Chaney decide to sit on the lead and the Choke a win away. Instead of staying aggressive and going for the kill ,Chaney and smart try to force the run and get stuffed.And some of his players need a gut check, coming off the field with boo boos and yukking it up on the sidelines while their team mates give up the lead.I won't call them out by name, but not much fortitude shown when the game is on the line.

GTBee
GTBee

You picked UNC and couldn't have been more wrong. Hopefully you're wrong about GT vs that team to the east.

GT71
GT71

Wont waste keystrokes on your weekly belching.  But...This may be the worst week in this little whimsy.  Tech wins, FL beats FSU, Tennessee beats Vandy, Clempson wont cover and your dog is still a better picker (and writer) than you, Schultz.  Oh, and your idol - Obama - is still a loser as is your dream-date candidate...Hillary Clinton.  A very bad year for the Schultz's.  But buck up dump-truck, next year may be better.  Even for you.


TOJacket
TOJacket

I think FSU beats the gators.

GTBee
GTBee

Lol moron. I think she got 2 million more votes. Good to see the majority of the USA aren't idiots like you.

Quackmeyer
Quackmeyer

Jeff, now that is some funny stuff this week.  Good going!

PaulinNH
PaulinNH

Nice column from Jeff. 

Bama, FSU and UNC all cover.  Pats put a beat down on the Jets. 

NCAA rules that UNC might be completely corrupt but they had enough non-athletes in the bogus courses to avoid any sanctions - Swofford agrees.


Chloe Brown
Chloe Brown

@RoadScholar I'm sure that Lilly thought no one would notice. But she did just as well as the author of the article! 

TideDawg
TideDawg

Well Schultzie, I don't know what your political persuasion is but my guess is....you lost! So here's to a reconciliation of feelings, it's time to heal and work on making America great again. I'll go hug my elephant and you can kiss your a$$.

TideDawg
TideDawg

It's time to put aside our differences and dislikes for rivals.....at least for a day. It's football.....it's a game....the pain heals. Time to be thankful that we have the right to vent and rant over a game without fear. To all the bloggers.......HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Mulk
Mulk

The NCAA penalty imposed on Notre Dame could not have happened to a more deserving program. It seems that Notre Dame tried to do the right thing, but still got torched for a very minor offense. But, how is Carolina getting away with what they did?

TOJacket
TOJacket

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody...yes even 12/13 and the other gaggle of crotch sniffers who I regularly berate and torment. Hope Everyone has a great day and before I forget THE HELL WITH GEORGIA!!!

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@TOJacket Enjoy your thanksgiving ,TO! No UGa /Tech comments for the next 24 hours. But tomorrow it is back to "Good Old Fashioned Hate"!

TOJacket
TOJacket

Agreed! What a Great State we live in and love!

salsaman
salsaman

As usual Schultz, a disowned Gator graduate, uses their 2nd consecutive East championship to take a shot at them. Lets see on the way to this 2nd championship they beat his doggies for the 3rd year in a row and who did he pick for the LSU game?

Now he picks FSU. Thank goodness.

Mulk
Mulk

@DawgNole


And, they are playing in Tallahassee (sp). I hope they slaughter the Gators.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@salsaman

Wonder if he picked FSU because the Noles have beaten the gators in five of the past six seasons?

OH:IO
OH:IO

No #2 vs.#3 prediction?


Schultz is still in post election denial.

Jlfarm
Jlfarm

@OH:IO This is the South. Shultz and the AJC never predict the Big 10, Big 12, or Pac 12 games. You'll get SEC and ACC talk down here in Southern Football. 

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Jlfarm


Haters


Non-Inclusive


Geographobes


GO TECH! 

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

And all of them better than lying hypocrites.

Gobble gobble!

TOJacket
TOJacket

Going to be a good game!

Hookedonshortpasses
Hookedonshortpasses

Funny that the dogs coach hardly played chubby for a while and they lost.  I think he finally woke up.  But johnson also did not play a really fast guy that was good last year but johnson evidently thought he could not block and that he had fumbleitus.    you wrong!


how can unc have no-attend classes that gave "A" grades and not get the "death"???