Weekend Predictions: Dept. of Bankruptcies says Georgia covers

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Before we get to this week’s noon kickoff (again) on the SEC Network (AGAIN?) — expected byproducts of this Georgia season — let me start with something far more important: my own personal misery and financial well-being. Weekend Predictions has been moved to public access television, tucked between, “Top Whittlers of Rabun County” and “Macon: Nobody Likes Us But We’re At The Intersection Of Two Interstates So You Can Leave Quickly.” (Oh look, I have new email.)

Last week was the worst week in the history of Weekend Predictions, or at least as far back as I choose to remember, getting swept on Georgia, Georgia Tech and Falcons’ picks, going 0-7 in college picks against the point spread and 2-12 against the number on all investment tips. (I was 6-8 on straight up picks, but Las Vegas wasn’t built on, “Give me the Death Star over Alderaan.”)

I feel like I’m in that scene in “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” when they were playing blackjack and betting cigarettes as “dimes” but “Martini (Danny DeVito) tore his cigarette in half to bet a nickel and Randall P.  McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) responded, “That’s not a nickle, Martini. That’s …” (Well, not a nickel.)

So now I will focus on merely trying to finish strong and hope to wind up in a bowl game not adjacent to a mobile home park, just like Georgia.

Mr. Moneybags said Auburn would cover against Georgia last week.

Mr. Moneybags said Auburn would cover against Georgia last week.

 

This week, the Bulldogs, fresh off last week’s upset of Auburn, face Louisiana-Lafayette. It has been a difficult week in Louisiana with the news that the state’s royal family, the Robertsons, announced they are ending their show, “Duck Dynasty,” signaling either their decision to advance to the 21st century or that family patriarch Phil Robertson will soon be named to a cabinet position in the White House (hat tip: “Senator Blutarsky” on Twitter).

The Dogs nearly lost to an FCS opponent (Nicholls State). So we’re past the assumption portion of the evening. But that’s the way to bet. I think. Besides, Georgia is wearing black jerseys so what can POSSIBLY go wrong? Dogs win and cover 23.

I don’t have much but I’ll share what I have

School Daze

Virginia at Georgia Tech: Just when message board vultures were circling Paul Johnson again, Tech drop-kicked Virginia Tech as a two-touchdown underdog. And Johnson laughed that evil laugh again. Now, for the lesser Virginians: Jackets cover 11½.

Paul Johnson is Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day”: “I’m immortal.”

Mississippi at Vanderbilt: Reset your watches in Oxford to Sacrificial Lamb Time. Mississippi placed assistant AD Barney Farrar on administrative leave, as the bodies start to pile up from impending NCAA probation. Huge Freeze is trying to stand clear of the mud splatter.  Rebels win but take Vandy and 10.

Arkansas at Mississippi State: If you had Mississippi State and 47 last week at Alabama, you lost. I had 30. Moving on. Other Dogs cover 1½.

To the victor in the SEC East goes ... what exactly?

To the victor in the SEC East goes … what exactly?

Florida at LSU: The Gators probably need to win this to clinch the SEC East Division — the participation trophy of major college football. Oops. Tigers win but take Florida and 13½.

Missouri at Tennessee: The Vols can win the right to be dismembered by Alabama if they win their last two games against Missouri and Vanderbilt(and Florida loses to LSU). There’s an old saying: That light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. But: Tennessee covers 15.

Clemson at Wake Forest: Wake Forest coach Dave Clawson says a “security breach” allowed access to Wake’s game plan against Louisville, tacitly suggesting that might have led to a 44-12 loss. Look, I have no doubt Bobby Petrino would sell whimpering puppies or relatives for secrets if he thought he could gain an edge. But China doesn’t need to spy on Greenland. Clemson covers 22½.

Chattanooga at Alabama: We informed you Nick Saban had no idea it was election day, as, he said, “We’re focused on other things here.” Like, apparently, autocracies. So this got back to Coastal Carolina coach Joe Moglia, who bused his players to a polling station and said of Saban’s comments, “To pick the leader of the free world was the most important thing going on in the world that day, and to not realize that and not to be aware of that frankly is disrespectful to his team, to his school, to his state, to the country.” I would run through a border wall for that man. Commies win but give me Chattanooga and 48½.

Miami at N.C. State: How many bowl officials right now are thumb-wrestling over a Mark Richt-Kirby Smart match-up? Canes cover 3.

Georgia Southern at Georgia State: This is the game Trent Miles won last year to get the Panthers to a bowl game. So much for happy anniversaries. Take the 2½ and Panthers in a mild upset.

Sack Schultz update

sack-schultz-logoI’ve been left in the dust. But “JayLa” of Idaho leads the national standings (Apple Vacation) with 121 wins and “J145adeb76” of Georgia is in the lead for the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl tickets with 120 wins. Others can still pull it out with only two weeks left. To win weekly prizes, go to myajc.com/go/sackschultz2016

NFL Six Pack

Eagles at Seahawks: Seattle’s Richard Sherman can’t believe he was fined $9,000 for gooning Buffalo’s kicker two weeks ago. I can’t believe it either. He should’ve been duct-taped to a lamp-post and made to absorb 9,000 place-kicks instead. Seahawks cover 6.

Packers at Redskins: Green Bay is 9-12 in its last 21 games and now Pro Football Talk, the “Magic 8 Ball” of rumor sites, reports the relationship between Aaron Rodgers and coach Mike McCarthy is “dangerously close to exploding.” Is this sort of like how the Bill Walsh-Joe Montana relationship was dangerously close to exploding almost every day through four Super Bowls? Give me the Pack and the gift 2½ and straight up.

Bears at Giants: Theo Epstein needs to take over the Bears. Giants cover 7½.

Ravens at Cowboys: So now we know Tony Romo can give a great concession speech. I’m not sure that’s on any quarterback’s credentials in Canton. Dallas wins but take Baltimore and 7

Steelers at Browns: One more loss and Cleveland will drop to 0-11 for the first time in franchise history. Six more losses and they’ll go 0-16 and I’m sure fans will find a way to blame Art Modell, because, duh. Pittsburgh covers 8.

Patriots at 49ers: Tom Brady (4-1) has lost more starts this year than Jimmy Garoppolo (2-0). Hack. Patriots cover 13.

Scorecard

images“The better the gambler, the worse the man.” — Publilius Syrus

Last week (cover your eyes): 6-8 straight up, 2-12 against the line.

Bottom dollars: 100-47-1 straight up, 69-76-3 against the line.

Lilly’s pick: Lilly has been suspended for a week because of her six-week losing streak and has been frustrated by failed attempts to open the fridge for cheese, barking and making sounds that roughly translate to, “Damn’t! No opposable thumbs!”

Lilly responds when told she has been suspended for a week.

Lilly responds when told she has been suspended for a week.

Subscribe for free to the, “We Never Played The Game” podcast with Jeff Schultz and WSB’s Zach Klein on iTunes. All episodes can be downloaded and heard on iTunes or here via WSBRadio.com. New episodes every Monday and Thursday.

Recent ramblings

Reader Comments 0

182 comments
LOGS1973
LOGS1973

Bill Murray's best movie was Lost in Translation.

He plays AJC sports writers Shultz and Bradley.

It is so funny, yet so real.....

TOJacket
TOJacket

I'll take the Cajuns and 23, and the wahoos and 10 1/2. Tech wins but not by 10.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

Good luck. You'll obviously need it.

________________

TOJacket November 4, 2016

Dawgs lose to KY and Vandy the same year........what a fun season this is turning into.

TOJacket September 8, 2016

Falcons win by 6 [vs Tampa Bay].

TOJacket August 24, 2016

Can't wait till UNC is saying....HEEL dawg! Get it dummy?

TOJacket August 16, 2016

Just don't think UGA has as good of a "team" as UNC . . . .

TOJacket September 14, 2016

. . .  I'm not wasting my time posting anymore responses to you vag-boy.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@TOJacket


I think the larger question is can Chuck and Duck chuck in the wind?


Could(a) be a day for a classic:


The Weather

TOJacket
TOJacket

Did you see what y'all are playing in? That didn't look fun at all.

OH:IO
OH:IO

THE Slate - A Reminder:


UT Chattanooga

Alabama A&M

Presbyterian

UL LA LA

Austin Peay

South Alabama

Western Carolina

Texas- San Antonio


TOJacket
TOJacket

Yea. Game day is having a good time with that this morning. Nick says he was ready for the extra conference game.

OH:IO
OH:IO

WAKE UP dogs! 


IT'S CHICKENSH%T SATURDAY! 

TOJacket
TOJacket

You can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh%t.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@TOJacket


Do not forget LSU and FL gave up their cupcakes. 

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

Did oh:io rudely awaken you again this morning with his mindless ramblings?

OH:IO
OH:IO

Think Adopt-a- Golden Atlanta needs to rescue Lilly.

Jmonty
Jmonty

Think UGA takes this game lightly?  After Nicholls, my guess is no.  UGA SHOULD win big..  GT, now there's a better question.  Which GT team shows up?  The one that got pushed all over by Pitt, Miami and Clemson or the team that played Vandy and VT?  UVA is a little Dr. Jekyll / Mr Hyde also.   I see GT winning, but not by 10 points. 

dawg fan
dawg fan

@Jmonty I think Tech should make some rings and put that Vandy score on it.  It seems to be the highlight of the past 2 years for them.  Georgia Tech=JOKE. 

dawg fan
dawg fan

@bobbyross1990 I doubt it.  Vandy has a little more pride than that.  Whatever happened to those 2008 State Championship rings nerd?  Are those floating around on ebay somewhere?  I'd pay $10 for one.  It'd be a good gag gift.  Georgia Tech=JOKE. 

bobbyross1990
bobbyross1990

@dawg fan @bobbyross1990 I don't. Tech beats you more than Vandy. Not ebay, but I'm def checking out all those singed autographs Gurley signed ;) 


UGA= joke school

OH:IO
OH:IO

@dawg fan


I'd go with the wrong record dog Liberty Bowl plaques.

dawg fan
dawg fan

@bobbyross1990 "Tech beats you more than Vandy."  LOL.  Sure thing pal.  And I'm the Easter Bunny.  Vandy now has 3 wins over Georgia the past 15 years to the Joke by Coke's 2.  UGA=joke school that wipes the freaking floor with the little pizz ant joke program on North Avenue.  13 of 15 and counting nerd. Have a laugh at that joke.  Georgia Tech=CRAP.   

dawg fan
dawg fan

@OH:IO What plaque did Tech get for it's bowl last season?  Oh wait.  I forgot 3-9 bottom dwellers don't got to bowls.  My bad.  Please tell us again how you're not a Tech fan so we can laugh at you some more. 

DawgNole
DawgNole

@dawg fan: "Vandy now has 3 wins over Georgia the past 15 years . . . ."

________________

Vandy also has three wins over UGA the past 22 years. That sounds even better.

TOJacket
TOJacket

SEC SEC.....3 of 4 in the last 2 years hump. We have owned the SEC the last 2 years sport.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

"The last two years"???
How does that stack up against being owned by UGA for 13 of the past 15 years?

Hello?

OH:IO
OH:IO

This clown has spent too much time up Finebomb's butt. More SEC! SEC! delusion.


John Hayes ‏@johnP_hayes  8m8 minutes ago

If Tennessee plays Alabama in the SEC Championship I would give them a better chance to beat the Tide than the eventual #4 seed #CFB

0 replies3 retweets6 likes


Big Wally
Big Wally

TOHIO:  I evolved to the point of not paying attention to 10RC fans about 15 years ago.

Big Wally
Big Wally

TOHIO saying "I am not a Tech fan".   That's right up there with "Hello, I am with the government and I am here to help".

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Big Wally


I am not a Tech fan. Really.


Johnson, Buzz and an old car 

Big Wally
Big Wally

TOHIO: OSU fans don't spend every waking hour on a dawg blog.  I could see you spending time on a Meatchicken blog as they are rivals, but OSU and Georgia are not rivals, not even in the same conference, not even in the same part of the country.  Thus you have been exposed there Buzz.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Big Wally


And you probably believed Hillary would win, right?

Big Wally
Big Wally

I'll answer that comment with - my next favorite website besides this one is Breitbart.com, if that gives you a clue about my political leanings.  And since I'm sure you stay up late at night wondering, I was a Political Science major at the great UGA which was a lot of fun during the Reagan administration.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Big Wally


Yep. Bannon is going to kick some serious butt. Can't wait.

Big Wally
Big Wally

Glad to see TOHIO posting this morning.  Was worried about him/them after that Louisville meltdown last night. I guess we won't be seeing anymore boasting about having 2 ACC teams in the top 5 anymore.   Unless of course, they get the Big 10 gloss over treatment, where they pretend they didn't lose and don't lower them in the rankings (see Meatchicken and Overated State).

Big Wally
Big Wally

It's Friday, almost time for some Big 10 games.  Oh wait that is next year.  I wonder if they will outdraw Big Bang Theory reruns on TBS. Those Rutgers vs Purdue match ups will be 'must see' TV.   I can't wait.  Those half filled stadiums with a bunch of yawning fans.  Feel the excitement already. 

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Big Wally


Ohio State is not playing any Friday night games.


"Book it"


-350


SEC? SEC? Yep...against  8th grade football night in America.

Big Wally
Big Wally

TOHIO: maybe not, but the rest of your horrible conference will be playing almost once a week on Friday nights.  That is almost as pathetic as the MAC having to play on Tuesday nights because no one watches them on Saturdays.  You are in a 3rd rate conference and this proves it.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Big Wally


See the latest from THE Committee then get back to me. 

OH:IO
OH:IO

Hey, does anyone know the Xfinity channel for the "alternative channel"?

Big Wally
Big Wally

The TOHIO lovefest continues.  How cute.   You two spit swappers really over do it.

Big Wally
Big Wally

TOHIO, now why would an "OSU" fan care what channel the Dawgs are on?

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO @TOJacket

Kissy kissy, boys.

Playing a little graba*s now, are we?

How 'bout you wait 'til bedtime for that stuff. The blog sure as hell doesn't want to see your acting-out antics.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Oh, alright. It is almost the holiday season, after all.