Weekend Predictions: Surprise from underworld — Dogs upset Gators

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According to legend, my second favorite source after Athens police reports that describe vanishing wacky tobaccy in football players’ dorm rooms while angelic-looking student-athletes stand there giving statements that go something like, “Well, officer. Nice shoes. Have you lost weight? I still love watching old Dragnet episodes. Anyway, so we were just sitting here in our room, studying between milk breaks and collecting soup cans for the homeless when all of a sudden this huge cloud of smoke blew into our room, I think possibly from Oregon,” and then they hold up their text books, except they weren’t really text books but the 2016 Acme Almanac of Madden 2016 Cheat Codes,” and it was upside down, and their heads were stuck in an empty Ben And Jerry’s Chunky Monkey container, and . . .

Wait, was I?

Oh yes. The Planet Bolshoi.

So according to legend,  Halloween dates back to ancient times, or when Georgia last beat Florida, and is tied to the Celtic festival of Samhain, when it was believed the boundary between the Underworld and this world, somewhere around Mississippi, were easily crossed, which is why it’s also known as, “The Day of the Dead” and ghosts and monsters and evil spirits haunt our dreams.

We celebrate this by eating Snickers bars.

‘Merica.

Any way, with Halloween just around the bend again, it’s time for Georgia to return to its own private House of Horrors: Jacksonville. The Trembling Chihuahuas (breed downgrade) are coming off a loss to Vanderbilt. This isn’t unlike coming off a bloodletting. So it’s not the best time to be playing a rivalry game that has seen you go 6-20 since 1990.

Or is it?

I’ve got this strange feeling, although it could be the Bulldog-sanctioned brownies I just ate. Florida is 5-1 but lost to its only ranked opponent (Tennessee). The Gators wins have come over UMass, Kentucky, North Texas, Vanderbilt and Missouri. There’s a few tax write-offs in there. I’m not convinced.

Strange year. Strange prediction. Here goes: Give me the 7½ but Dogs win in an upset.

Sack Schultz 2016

sack-schultz-logoIf you want to know what place I’m in in the contest, you will need a warrant. But it’s not first. But congrats to last week’s winner and likely cheater Terry Littlepage of Fayetteville, Ga., who swept the local and national prizes by going 14-1. Terry, I hate you, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Many still vying for grand prizes. Think you can outpick me? Go to MyAJC.com/go/sackschultz2016.

School Daze

Duke at Georgia Tech: The Jackets have lost consecutive games to Duke for the first time since the Bobby Ross administration (1987-89). Ross went on to win a national title in 1990. So maybe this is all part of a clever plan. Oh, that Paul Johnson. Tech covers 6½.

Louisville at Virginia: Bobby Petrino lives for these games. It’s a nice warm-up before giving kids Brillo pads on Halloween. The 33 is smothered and covered.

Clemson at Florida State: Jimbo Fisher said he plans on being at Florida State “for a long time,” then said he would not talk about the LSU job. So how does one define a “long time?” Two months? Tigers cover 4½.

LSU: Off this week before getting hammered next week by Alabama. Women and children: Please keep clear of Ed Orgeron in Golden Corral.

Ed Orgeron during bye week

Miami at Notre Dame: It’s probably gone unnoticed by some during the random mass burnings of Kirby Smart’s front yard but Mark Richt has lost three straight since starting 4-0 in Miami. It could be worse. He could be Notre Dame’s coach. Hurricanes cover 2½ on the road.

Auburn at Ole Miss: The Tigers have won four straight and some are wondering if this is the Miracle of 2013 all over again. Must be nice when you play only one road game in the first seven weeks. But three of the last five (Mississippi, Georgia, Alabama) are on the road — I see pain. I’ll also take the home ‘dog here (Rebels and 4½).

The Tennessee defense takes the field.

The Tennessee defense takes the field.

Tennessee at South Carolina: Tennessee’s defense reminds me of the Swiss Army, standing a post as they decide between their corkscrews and the can opener in their camper tool kits. Vols win but take the Gamecocks and 13½.

Kennesaw State at Monmouth: Monmouth lists among its notable alumni: serial bridge closer and invertebrate Chris Christie and a porn actor. There’s your analytics. Owls cover 1½.

Georgia State at South Alabama: Only one of the Panthers’ last five opponents has a winning record so if you’ve got them going back to a bowl game, you’re in luck. OK, not really. Other team covers 3½.

Pros and Cons

(Fall special: Pick any two games and receive a free pair of Roger Goodell souvenir blinders.)

Aaron Rodgers studied film of the Falcons' secondary this week.

Aaron Rodgers studied film of the Falcons’ secondary this week.

Packers at Falcons: Aaron Rodgers has won his last three games against the Falcons, completing 81 for 111 passes (72.9 percent) for 1,089 yards, eight touchdowns and 0 interceptions, give or take a torched village. On a related note: Did the Falcons’ defense exceed the insurance cap for therapy hours this week after San Diego drove for 426 yards and 33 points and even the perpetually peppy Dan Quinn had his confidence dinged? However . . . Falcons win and cover 2½. (It’s not supposed to make sense.)

Eagles at Cowboys: Tony Romo said he was close to returning. So Jason Garrett broke his arm. Cowboys cover 4½.

Patriots at Bills: Buffalo players said they were upset because they thought a couple of New England ran too close to their warm-ups before the last meeting. Welcome to third-grade recess. Patriots take their lunch money, cover 6½.

Buffalo players aren’t quite this deep

Cardinals at Panthers: Cam Newton on the concussion that happened when he did the numskull tip-toe to the end zone and got clobbered by the Falcons’ Deion Jones: ““I didn’t even know if I scored. That’s when I knew I was messed up.” And then there’s the rest of the team. Fog clears: Carolina covers 3.

Lions at Texans: Houston quarterback Brock Osweiller ranks 30th in passer rating, 29th in completion percentage and 32nd in yards per attempt. Now there’s a GoFundMe page to buy out his $72 million contract that was started by a fan. Or maybe it was Bob McNair. Take the 2 1/2 but Lions win straight up.

Bottom Dollars

images“I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” — Steve Allen

Last week: 7-4-1 straight up, 6-6 against the line.

Bottom dollars: 74-29-1 straight up, 53-48-3 against the line.

Lilly’s pick: Lilly may be moved to the practice squad. She lost the Falcons’ pick last week and fell to 3-5. This week, the choices were cheese’d pictures of Georgia coach Kirby Smart and Florida’s Jim McElwain. The mutt didn’t hesitate and darted right — straight to Smart. Upset! Dogs win. (Copydog.)

Lilly is on a losing streak but she's going with the upset this week.

Lilly is on a losing streak but she’s going with the upset this week.

EARLIER: Podcast blog: If you don’t know Jesse Itzler, you want to know Jesse Itzler.

COMING MONDAY: Part II from Jesse Itzler interview, including his views of Hawks’ ownership and future.

Subscribe to the, “We Never Played The Game” podcast with Jeff Schultz and WSB’s Zach Klein. All episodes can be downloaded and heard on iTunes or here via WSBRadio.com. New episodes every Monday and Thursday. 

Some recent ramblings

Reader Comments 0

391 comments
Rtrox
Rtrox

Gators have the best defense next to Bamas period.They completely shut the Dawgs offense down runnng or passing.I will take a 21 and 6 record any day over a long time rival no matter what the score.Georgia has barely beaten any body,so stop wailing on Florida's offense,they are 6 and 1.Any you cry babies want a rematch?Bama did not run Florida out of the stadium last year either,it was close considering they had no QB.


FlatTire
FlatTire

South Carolina's offense looks improved ours looks.................

DawgNole
DawgNole

@FlatTire

Ours looks improved, too--just not enough to beat a poor fla offense.

TOJacket
TOJacket

Improved?......Delusion.

Eric_C
Eric_C

And let's look at Mizzou for a minute...lit up by MTSU and dominated by Kentucky.  

Eric_C
Eric_C

And folks, have you seen the Nicholls State schedule this year?  Their only non-OT win this year came by 7 pts over the 1-6 "Incarnate Word," no joke!!  This is the same team that also ate up the UGA offensive line!

Eric_C
Eric_C

This is not a popular thing to say right now, but I also have to give Florida some credit for the woes today.  They have a championship defense. 

Eric_C
Eric_C

@DawgNole @Eric_C oh believe me, I don't pretend to think they have a shot against Alabama with that offense.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@Eric_C

They had a good enough defense to shut us down tonight though, which is all that matters.

FlatTire
FlatTire

Jeff's  new article on dawgnation sums it up  "The play-calling of offensive coordinator Jim Chaney has been unimaginative and predictable. Chaney seems to be getting some rope because of what he has to work with, but when so many possessions are starting run-run-pass and even sportswriters know what’s coming, do you think opposing players and coaches are fooled?"

Eric_C
Eric_C

No coach would survive this offensive line.  UF destroyed the Dawgs up front.  And someone please teach Eason to quit underthrowing the ball...the pass to Ridley could have been a huge boost going into halftime.

Eric_C
Eric_C

@DawgNole @Eric_C very true...I'd just rather give the receiver a chance to maintain full speed and run under a ball than tripping up awkwardly on his own feet and nearly injuring his knee, and giving a defender a chance to catch up as well when the receiver was wide open. In other words, I can live more with overthrows than underthrows.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@Eric_C @DawgNole

Hard to live with either one from a QB who's touted as the best pocket passer in the nation.

Problems still boil down to the OL.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@DawgNole @Eric_C Yep, probably the worse offensive line at Georgia in the last 30 years. Can't run block, and can't pass block.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@Big Wally

Wasn't this bad last year, though. Makes you wonder what happened to them in the off season.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@DawgNole @Big Wally We had two pretty good Tackles last year, Theus and Houston.  We have no Tackles on this year's team.  Pyke is a guard and Catalina is FCS talent.

Eric_C
Eric_C

The only thing worse than the Dawgs performance today is the coverage on this game by the AJC.  I am done with "Dawg Nation"...will just do a search for the occasional bone thrown by Bill King, Mark Bradley, and Jeff Schultz.  

Jse1960
Jse1960

Sony Michel guarantees This year will be different and contributes 3 carries for 2 yards. Maybe U.K. Will be easier, where is 12of 13?

TOJacket
TOJacket

I missed the first of the press conference, why was Kirby crying?

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

Why was he crying?

Because he hasn't had a chance yet to salve his wounds by playing your team.

That's why!

Big Wally
Big Wally

Who says Eason is not a running quarterback?  I saw him running for his life every time he dropped back for a pass.

FlatTire
FlatTire

@Big Wally thought he ran well enough to call plays for it but we rather run up the middle for no gain and try to throw a bunch of deep balls

Big Wally
Big Wally

@FlatTire @Big Wally Florida has a lot more speed than we do.  It was like the announcers were saying, Florida could just go man to man on our outside wide receivers, they were not going to beat them deep, the few times we did, we dropped the ball.

FlatTire
FlatTire

@Big Wally  I agree but I feel like this the end of 2008 all over again when I knew we were in trouble at DC but now its the OC.  I feel good about our defense though

TOJacket
TOJacket

By god.....y'all have figured it out.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@FlatTire @Big Wally Could be.  Might also be that they are just having to scale back so much in the offense because of having a true Freshman QB.  Or they may just have so little faith in the off. line at this point, they are limited to what they can do. I watched 2 series in a row on Gilliard. He is not an SEC starting offensive guard.  I can only hope they are red shirting his back up who will be much better than him next year.

FlatTire
FlatTire

@Big Wally  the last 2 play calls against Vandy says it all;  today was just a continuation

Big Wally
Big Wally

@FlatTire @Big Wally Pittman's blocking schemes may have some issues. I noticed the few times we ran wide, they tried to get Kublanov to get to the inside backer.  He never got there and like the Vandy game, the backer was unblocked and made the tackles for no gain or for losses.

FlatTire
FlatTire

@Big Wally  yea but Im going to say this again; we successfully ran the ball with a fullback blocking in the UNC TENN and SC games and completely went away from it in the Nichols Ole Miss and Vandy game and you saw the results


And you come out in this game and do it again; sorry but I can tell Spurrier and other great OC's wouldn't have done that

TOJacket
TOJacket

Hey Everybody!!!!.......Kirby cries like a woman.

TOJacket
TOJacket

Not this year puke. And please....put that in your archives V-Boy.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

Not this year???

So you know already that you'll beat UGA?

Yeah, right. Fool!

Rackcoon02
Rackcoon02

What a homer GA in an upset!!! LMAO!!! GA has not won anything with substance since 1980.  Therefore, how about they win the SEC the next 3 out of five years with a NC thrown in before the dumb predictions happen when they play the Gators??

OH:IO
OH:IO

.500 dogs


as predicted

TOJacket
TOJacket

Hey skippy.......they're ranked....period, dawgs?...Lol

Big Wally
Big Wally

@TOJacket Once again dumbarse, you are a Tech fan, not an OSU fan.  Just having trouble remembering that aren't you.

TOJacket
TOJacket

I agree with common sense which mutt nation lacks.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Class is admitting when your team isn't what you hoped it would be.

Do you have any of that in you?

I think we know the answer.