Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets hibernate; Falcons, Bama roll

chalk8

Hello, and welcome back to the remains of the college football season, or as Georgia and Georgia Tech fans like to call it: Googling for Motel 6’s in Shreveport around Christmas.

(Let your mind wander. Imagine a Dogs-Jackets rematch in the Independence Bowl. Would you not watch that over any other potential Georgia or Georgia Tech fourth-tier, who-cares bowl? Vote yes if you’re an evil and possibly dashing sports columnist. Vote no if you have no sense of humor and you still can’t think straight because Nick Chubb was told to go eat a sandwich on fourth-and-1. Ignore election results altogether if you prefer stomping your feet, holding your breath and passing out over processing a coherent thought, which seems to work for handsy, polyurethane-haired billionaires. Question: Was Donald Trump a secret partner for the Atlanta Spirit?”)

The traffic sign that no college football fan wants to see.

The traffic sign that no college football fan wants to see.

Any way, Georgia and Georgia Tech both have byes this week. (Yeah!) But Business Insider, presumably in conjunction with WikiLeaks, calculated the fair market value of college football players at the nation’s 20 most profitable athletic programs. According to this chart, the average Division 1 player has a value of $163,869. Texas players leading the nation with a value of $671,173, Alabama second at $536,485. Georgia State is just outside the top 20.

Georgia players had the sixth-highest fair market value at $479,506. Given the Vanderbilt and Nicholls State games, I’m going to assume the Bulldogs have at least seven players named B.J. Upton.

So this week is cleansing breath time for Dogs and Jackets fans. Fortunately, both have the Falcons, who are not headed to the Independence Bowl, unless Richard Sherman accidentally/intentionally hooks their arms and drags them there like bison carcasses, later explaining he really didn’t do anything wrong and, besides Julio Jones slapped him in the head, and it hurts, sort of, not really.

The Falcons do not stink. But this is a dangerous week. They’re coming back home after 10 days in hotels and are favored for only the second time this season (they lost the last time to Tampa Bay).

Will they morph into mush? I think not. Punt the 6 1/2 points. Falcons win and cover.

Richard Sherman takes the stand

Sack Schultz 2016

sack-schultz-logoWeek 6 update: I went 10-5 last week but sit in 283rd place, probably out of wild card contention. Last week’s winners were Dane Watson (Vienna, Ga.) and Troy Weaver (Hewitt, Texas) each went 14-1. Go to MyAJC.com/go/sackschultz2016 to register for a chance to win prizes.

Alabama and Less Significant Beings

Texas A&M at Alabama: Bama has outscored seven opponents by 213 points, give or take a major organ. If the SEC gets two teams in the playoffs, the second should be the Tide’s backups. Godzilla covers 18.

Alabama takes the field

Ole Miss at LSU: LSU’s firing of Les Miles was timely because the next two opponents were Missouri and Southern Miss. What better time to make interim coach Ed Orgeron look chemically balanced? But LSU’s next five games: Ole Miss, Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Texas A&M . Check? I’ll take the gift 7 and roll with the Rebels in an upset.

Arkansas at Auburn: The Tigers have won three straight. So Gus Malzahn hot seat rumors are cooled for now. Or at least until breakfast. Auburn wins but take Arkansas and 9 1/2.

Mississippi State at Kentucky: A Kentucky fan phoned into Mark Stoops’ radio call-in show this week and asked, “What I’m wondering is if coach (Dan) Mullen at Mississippi State gets fired, do you think he could come to Kentucky maybe?” Stoops didn’t answer, the show went to a break, and Mullen hung up before anybody could trace the call. Dogs cover 3 over Cats.

Tennessee-Martin at Georgia State: The Panthers (1-5) started 2-6 last season before improbably winning four straight to make it to a bowl game. So maybe they’re just waiting for the leaves to fall again. (Trent Miles looks up at the trees.) Panthers cover 13.

NFL Slots Of Fun Hotel and Casino

(Buy 3 games and win a book of Roger Goodell’s  latest book of quotations, like, “We believe gambling impacts the integrity of the game. Oh look, a tape of a player punching his wife. Belvedere, to the incinerator.”)

Patriots at Steelers: Bill Belichick became my Get Off My Lawn hero when he spiked his malfunctioning, NFL corporate partner-issued Microsoft tablet during a game, saying later, ” I just can’t take it any more.” New England is going back to paper and old Polaroids. On a related note, New England has hired a court-room sketch artist to steal sideline signals. Pats cover 7.

Raiders at Jaguars: The Raiders appear on the verge of moving to Las Vegas but Goodell has his silk boxers in a bunch because he prefers teams play in idyllic villages like . . . Jacksonville? Take the 1 but Oakland wins straight up.

Rams at Giants: Todd Gurley is averaging 2.9 yards per carry. Things change quickly in Los Angeles. The Rams are out of the theaters and have been moved to cable. Giants cover 3.

Seahawks at Cardinals: Captain Hook Sherman is safe. The league has a policy of not uttering a negative word about botched calls but it continues to assess 15-yard penalties for smiling after touchdowns. No spike for you! Arizona covers 2 1/2.

brownsfans-1xgdjwq

That Cavaliers-Indians mojo hasn’t quite made it to BrownsLand yet. (AP photo)

Browns at Bengals: Cleveland, city of champions. The Browns exist only for nostalgia. Bengals win but take the Browns and 9 1/2 because, oh, what the hell.

Vikings at Eagles: Sam Bradford had 20 turnovers in Philadelphia last season, so when the Vikings offered a No. 1 pick for him the Eagles thought they had died and gone to heaven, or at least somewhere other than Philly. Bradford through 4 games: 4-0, six TDs, 0 turnovers, 109.8 rating. Oops. Minnesota covers 2½.

Profits and losses

profitlossriskdecisionoutcomelg“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” — W.C. Fields

Last week: 10-4 straight up, 5-9 against the line.

Bottom dollars: 67-25 straight up, 47-42-3 against the line.

Lilly’s pick: Mutt (3-4) lost the Georgia pick last week but she’s there with most humans. This week, it’s a choice of cheese’d pictures of Matt Ryan or Philip Rivers. Lilly goes left: Ryan. Falcons win.

Lilly is looking for a slump-buster. Aren't we all? (Jeff Schultz / jschultz@ajc.com)

Lilly is looking for a slump-buster. Aren’t we all? (Jeff Schultz / jschultz@ajc.com)

Subscribe to the new, “We Never Played The Game” podcast on iTunes with Jeff Schultz and WSB’s Zach Klein. New episodes every Monday and Thursday.

Some recent ramblings

Reader Comments 0

481 comments
twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

Exposed

Pretender

Beaten by an UN

Another kick blocked

#Community

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

Beaten by an UN coached by Vandy's ex. Ah, the justice.

PSU just blocked another kick.

#beatenbythecommunity

OH:IO
OH:IO

Un and None


Still

TOJacket
TOJacket

Twentyoftwentysix......Lol

TOJacket
TOJacket

Just how bad are you humps going to lose to the Gators?....20 of 26....Lol....that's pitiful.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

How did that UGA loss to UNC that you predicted work out? Or that Falcon victory over Tampa Bay that you predicted?

DUH!

Zero credibility.

Chirp chirp chirp. Yap yap yap.

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

All you got? 13 of 15 old bi@@tch!

That is correct 13 years we rolled over your joke program. 13!

13 of 15

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

Funny that TO and little bucky ten always post at the same time. Same person with two handles.

TOJacket
TOJacket

Funny you three stooges post at the same time? Whose the pivot man?

TOJacket
TOJacket

Big Wally, DawgNole, 12/13= Immature punks

TOJacket
TOJacket

No whine.....just the fact punk boy.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO Keep grasping at straws if it makes you feel better about your loss.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Suck on this, blowhiojob: YOU LOST to an unranked, heavily outmanned team still feeling the effects of the unprecedented penalties handed down for the transgressions of an assistant coach.

You have nothing of worth to bring to these blogs, and not even your phony coach and overrated team can save you here.

Zero credibility, zero class. Totally irrelevant.


TOJacket
TOJacket

Mrs. Landers......sounds like you're describing UGA

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@OH:IO Hope buckeye fans enjoy Orlando this year playing Auburn in the Citrus Bowl. Not even the Rose Bowl would be Idiotic enough to take a 2 loss Buckeye team over the B1G runner up.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

Thirteen of 15--and why are you responding to me after saying you never would again, liar?!

FlatTire
FlatTire

Well I guess we know why the little 10 decided to add Rutgers and Maryland

Wouldn't want to knock out the only two teams that actually have any remote chance of making the rose bowl tie in and playoff

Big Wally
Big Wally

@FlatTire Yep, Blowhio State only wants to play 2 to 3 tough games a year, anything more than that and they have a melt down.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO I'm going to ride Penn State's, where are they ranked again?

Big Wally
Big Wally

Looks like it is fake heart attack time in Columbus.

Big Wally
Big Wally

So Penn State doesn't get ranked even after beating Overrated State.  I guess that says a lot about Overrated State.


Now doesn't it?


Uh huh.

OH:IO
OH:IO

#14 Gators vs. Un dogs:


Verne Snoozer

OH:IO
OH:IO

AP


As expected


dogs?


Un

TOJacket
TOJacket

What the he!! Do you know about being a man.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket

You responding to me? 

You said you never would again, remember, liar? And now you don't have the guts or integrity to follow through.

Know far more about manning up than you and OH:IO, obviously.

Chirp chirp chirp.Yap Yap Yap.

OH:IO
OH:IO

Notables who did receive votes:


Troy


Mid TN


South FL


Tulsa (yep, that Tulsa) 


App State

OH:IO
OH:IO

As expected:"


Others Receiving Votes

Washington State 93; Penn State 80; Oklahoma State 64; San Diego State 15; Arkansas 11; Southern California 7; Troy 6; Miami (Fla.) 5; Mississippi 3; Middle Tennessee 3; South Florida 3; Pittsburgh 2; Tulsa 2; Appalachian State 2; Wyoming 1.

Big Wally
Big Wally

Amazing what happens when Blowio State has to actually play a couple of decent teams back to back.   We now know why Urban ran away from the SEC as fast as he could.  

Big Wally
Big Wally

@TOJacket No, you slobbering all over Blowhio is the looking stupid part around here.

TOJacket
TOJacket

I know......he couldn't take winning a 3rd NC in the SEC SEC. He's won more by himself than y'all have since 1785.

TOJacket
TOJacket

You guys love looking stupid huh?

TOJacket
TOJacket

Guess his dream job was OSU stupid.