Predictions: And now for something completely different — Dogs win

chalkboard

Hello and welcome back to another edition of, “Is This A Remake Of ‘Night Of The Living Dead’ or Did Georgia Just Make The Biggest Mistake Since One Major GOP Donor Turned To The Other Major GOP Donor And Said, ‘Trump? Hahahahaha. Don’t Worry, It’ll Never Last.”

Mark Richt is back in town. He’s smiling. He’s 3-0 with Miami and his team plays at Georgia Tech, where he has never lost.

Kirby Smart is back in town. He’s pale. His team looks like the old Far Side cartoon, “The Boneless Chicken Ranch,” with collapsed feathered bodies laying on a field, unable to walk, or stand, or scream, “Help, Ole Miss just stole my dignity, and my skeletal frame, and my lunch money.”

In the role of Georgia Bulldogs last week: Boneless chickens. (Gary Larson, Far Side.)

In the role of Georgia Bulldogs last week: Boneless chickens. (Gary Larson, Far Side.)

If Richt continues to win, and Georgia continues to lose, it will be the first time the Dogs have been this humiliated by one of their former coaches since Jim Donnan was fired and then decided to enter the business world with, “Fly By Night Investments, Catfish and Such,” only to spontaneously combust and reaffirm he should never be trusted as the banker in Monopoly.

The Dogs opened the season with a win over North Carolina. Then they beat Nicholls State by two points, and Missouri by one, and then they were poleaxed in Oxford.

So now seemingly half of the Bulldogs’ fans think they never should have fired Richt, while the other half think Kirby Smart is overmatched and didn’t do anything more in Alabama than unwrap Nick Saban’s Little Debbie snack cakes, while the other half think Smart inherited a talent-less team from that no-talent hack Richt, while the other half think Smart just started the job so he can be excused for falling behind 45-0, because, you know, this is like going from football to  … wait, football?

How many halves is that?

Never mind, they’re all geraniums.

But if you think that’s crazy, what about this: Georgia is going to win, anyway. Why? Because humiliation can be a wonderful motivator. And Tennessee has been pretty unimpressive itself. And I suspect the Dogs’ secondary is going to make some plays this week. And the game is in Athens. And damn I’m good. Maybe also deluded.

The line is 3. Take the points. But Dogs win straight up.

Monty Python on my Georgia pick

Sack Schultz 2016

sack-schultz-logoWeek 4 update:  I’ve climbed from 144th to 55th to 29th place in the overall standings,  going 12-3 in contest picks last week. Last week’s winners were Reginald Slaughter (13-2) of Atlanta and Richard Zorger (13-2) of  Kokomo, Indiana. Not playing? No worries. You still have a chance to win weekly prizes from Kroger and Fathead and the grand prizes: tickets to the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl and/or a $2,500 Apple Vacation. Go to MyAJC.com/go/sackschultz2016 to register.

Value Menu

(Add fries and an unused conscience from an LSU administrator for 99 cents.)

Miami at Georgia Tech: Richt has won his first three games by an average score of 51-8, which would be really impressive if the first three opponents weren’t named Florida A&M, Florida Atlantic and Appalachian State. This isn’t Athens but it might as well be Richt’s homecoming: He’s 21-2 against Tech going back to his days as a Florida State assistant, including 12-0 at Tech. I believe that constitutes a trend. Buzz down. Canes cover 7½.

Richt is so happy, he feels like jumping rope (Jesus Jeans commercial, circa 1982)

Florida at Vanderbilt: Florida’s new athletic director, Scott Stricklin, played a major role in Mississippi State’s Jeffery Simmons getting suspended for only one game for punching a woman. So I guess this means the Urban Meyer Sentencing Guidelines are back in place. Go Gators. Florida covers 10.

Missouri at LSU: The invertebrates at LSU weren’t satisfied with only one national championship and two SEC titles since 2007 and a near undefeated season five years ago, so they fired Les Miles four games into the season and have given the big whistle to Ed Orgeron, who went 3-21 in the SEC when he was at Ole Miss. Moonshine logic. Like most things in Baton Rouge, this won’t make a lot of sense when the hangover wears off. LSU wins but take Mizzou and 13.

Louisville at Clemson: When asked this week about the LSU job, Bobby Petrino said, “I’m not interested in going anywhere.” And when Bobby Petrino says something, you can take that to the bank. In Bolivia. Take the gift 2 but Clemson wins straight up.

The Bobby Petrino Image Makeover

North Carolina at Florida State: Jimbo Fisher says he doesn’t want to talk to about the LSU job, either. Get back to him in November after a few more losses. Noles cover 10.

yoursign

It seems everybody wants to schedule Kentucky for Homecoming.

Kentucky at Alabama: It’s hard being Kentucky. Getting your hair and makeup just right for all of these Homecoming weeks cuts into practice time. Tide covers 35½.

Georgia State at Appalachian State: State hung in there with Wisconsin in its last game, losing only by six. Is it possible to have a letdown after a backdoor cover? This time the Panthers are a 19-point dog. They’ll lose. But, hey, 19: We can dance together (assist, Steely Dan).

NFL Six Pack

Panthers at Falcons: The best story of the week was Carolina fullback Mike Tolbert getting into a feud with an auto mechanic so he paid his $3,943.93 bill in change. Pretty soon, Panthers ticket holders are going to be asking for change. I’ll roll with the Falcons and 3, and straight up.

Mike Tolbert paying his car bill

Broncos at Buccaneers: Since winning the Revenge Bowl in the Georgia Dome, Mike Smith’s defense has allowed eight touchdowns and 736 yards in two games and Dirk Koetter has seen Jameis Winston throw five interceptions, fumble twice and been sacked five times. So much for the afterglow. Denver covers 3.

Watch as Bill Belichick turns him into Johnny Unitas.

Watch as Bill Belichick turns him into Johnny Unitas.

Bills at Patriots: New England is 3-0 without Tom Brady. They went 1-2 last year in their last three games with him. Hey, just saying. Slacker. Starting at quarterback this week: a gerbil. Patriots cover 6.

Saints at Chargers: Drew Brees goes back to San Diego for the first time since he left. Given the Saints’ start, this might be a good time to defect. Chargers cover 4.

Giants at Vikings: You may not remember this but Mike Zimmer was the Falcons’ defensive coordinator in 2007 under Petrino. So the Vikings’ 3-0 start is further confirmation that he wasn’t the problem. Minny covers 4½.

Browns at Washington: Cleveland is 0-3 and has started three different quarterbacks but Terrelle Pryor said this week, “I think we can win all the rest of the games.” They’re so cute when they’re young. Washington covers 9.

P&L Statement (column picks)

profitlossriskdecisionoutcomelg“Gambling is a disease of barbarians superficially civilized.” — Priest William Inge

Last week: 7-5 straight up, 5-7 against the line.

Through 4 weeks: 37-14 straight up, 25-24-2 against the line.

Lilly’s pick: I considered dropping her on the depth chart after last week’s Georgia pick vs. Ole Miss but I didn’t have a backup mutt. She’s only 2-2 on the season. So this week, she tries again. Pictures of “Uga” to the left and “Smokey” to the right. Lilly darts to the cheeseball on the . . .  right! Guess she’s done with Georgia. Vols win.

Lilly has picked her canine, and it's not Uga.

Lilly has picked her canine, and it’s not Uga.

Recent ramblings

Reader Comments 0

98 comments
GTBee
GTBee

The ending of the Tenn game was wonderful!!

TOJacket
TOJacket

Was Richt coaching today in Athens? Lorenzo Carter?

uga1971
uga1971

should have kicked the ball deep and made the Vols play the field,bad coaching call there. 

OH:IO
OH:IO

Enjoy your last few hours in the Top 25, dogs. 


After that, it's next year. 


Note the date. 

TOJacket
TOJacket

IWhat's up with that pitiful "let's beat TN video".........it inspired me to go do my morning colon cleansing. Thanks Athletic dept. !

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@TOJacket Now that you have your morning Dump out of the way, CPJ seems to have the Jackets offense clicking so far today against the Canes.

uga1971
uga1971

Ohio ST beats 1 SEC team and they never shut up.

Wonder if Ohio st will ever win another one or will it be about what was 12 games of losing to the SEC before they finally won one.

Louisville is going to kill Clemson this weekend to bad their not playing Ohio st. 

TOJacket
TOJacket

OHIO.......where is Dawg in a hole when you need her? "Their"......double standard.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

NOPE, it's NOT 2, lying hypocrite.

Check the record books.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

No denial here, lying hypocrite--never has been; never will be.

Dawgs and Noles both lost in lopsided fashion.

Hoping for better the rest of the way.

GTBee
GTBee

Ohio St is by far the best team and really have been the last 3 years.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@uga1971


dogs win 1 national championship last century and they never shut up. 


P.S. It's 2. I watched them both. 


"their" not playing???


You're in need of a Jan Kemp remedial. 

uga1971
uga1971

The offensive looks horrible for Georgia and the defense isn't much better. Georgia has a lot of talent but if you can't block you can't win.

Georgia's defense is noting like was last year if you can't get to the quarterback or put pressure on him then it's going to be a very long day for Georgia again.

Ritcht did a poor job of recruiting and filling the offensive line,it showed last year and really showing this year.

I picked Georgia to win this game because the vols aren't much better on blocking.

I took Missouri to beat LSU straight up.I think missouri will surprise a few teams this year and LSU will be one of them. 

TOJacket
TOJacket

Don't bet you're kids lunch $$!

Tailback U
Tailback U

Two things a certainty about Ga/Tn.  If the Dawgs cannot achieve 

real balance on offense they have no shot.  The other thing is that

 no matter if the dawgs jump out to a lead or not it will take a 4 

 quarter effort to win the game.  Even if Tennessee gets off to a 

 rough start they will not lose faith in the ability to come back given

 not only last week's game against Florida but last yr's game in 

 Knoxville.  I have a suspicion the Dawgs will  have that balance

 and will compete well.   I wish I felt the same way in terms of

 playing well a full 4 quarters.   Time to show heart and determination..Go dawgs!     gata



Tailback U
Tailback U

Two things a certainty about Ga/Tn.  If the Dawgs cannot achieve 

real balance on offense they have no shot.  The other thing is that

 no matter if the dawgs jump out to a lead or not it will take a 4 

 quarter effort to win the game.  Even if Tennessee gets off to a 

 rough start they will not lose faith in the ability to come back given

 not only last week's game against Florida but last yr's game in 

 Knoxville.  I have a suspicion the Dawgs will  have that balance

 and will compete well.   Start fast and hold on with a Bulldog

 grip Dawgs ....the game is winnable with some execution and

 determination.



OH:IO
OH:IO

Over/Under: 5


Fewer trips to the buffet line this week


Take the over

OH:IO
OH:IO

Chubb out


The Injuries

WhatExcuseNow
WhatExcuseNow

If nothing else, Wallster, Carydster, and Bucknut???ster keeping it entertaining.

OSU - rolls big

Dawgs - get rolled bigtime

The Institute - gets 'Richt' rolled bigtime

Oh and Bama DECIMATES 'Go Blue'

If you all get a chance, come on down to Warner Robins this wknd and watch the airshow @ Robins AFB. FREE to get in. Cool aircraft and other stuff. 100K showed four years ago. And it has the USAF's aerial demonstration (stunt) team performing. Might be a more satisfying Saturday and Sunday spent than watching some of these teams get clubbed like baby seals.

Gates open 930 and close at 330 just in time for the real games to begin.

And R T R !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOJacket
TOJacket

To arthritic these days to dodge planes......thanks for the invite!

KeepOnSmilingWetWillie
KeepOnSmilingWetWillie

LeadPipe lock of the week...


Take Big Blue and the points vs Bama

Take A&M and lay the points vs The Fighting Will's


Roll Tide. It's almost time to get serious.

TOJacket
TOJacket

Can't picture myself being serious.....ok I'll try.

OH:IO
OH:IO

I wonder if Chuck and Duck got a haircut this week?

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO The obsession continues.  Still got that poster over your bed eh?

TOJacket
TOJacket

That was a great poster!

TOJacket
TOJacket

Cmon OHIO.......them girls love that Cristy Brinkley swing.

TOJacket
TOJacket

The question is just how much $$$ the "Osborne Brothers" will make off royalty for Rocky Top?

E983
E983

I can tell you right now who's gonna win tomorrow down in Athens, GA.

The team with the most points at the end of the game. Now excuse me while I make a choice. If the Vols play that same game they played last Saturday they're gonna get waxed. If a humiliating experience motivates this UGA team it's possible they could pull it off. Otherwise I look for UT to win it large. The Falcons? Well, they fall to 2 - 2. Oh well.

MaybeMaybeNot
MaybeMaybeNot

@E983  "If the Vols play that same game they played last Saturday they're gonna get waxed."


If the Doggies play the same game they played against a State called Nicholls will UT still get waxed?

E983
E983

I wonder. Maybe they should hire Les Miles and make him ah...

Ah... Ufensive state QB coach.

larryhand
larryhand

Jeff, back in the 1950s I told a cousin, "Elvis Presley is just a flash in the pan, Pat Boone will be around forever." I was right, of course, just not in the way I intended. And you are right, Georgia will win -- in the long run. Maybe not against UT.


GTBob
GTBob

Im not sure how anyone could watch the second half of the Tennessee game last week and conclude that the UGA team that has been fairly awful the last three games will beat them. Seems like a stretch Jeff.

As for GT/Miami. Richt likely gets another win, although its hard to get a read on Miami with the teams they have played. They killed us last year though so im not sure I expect Richt to coach them down enough to lose to us a year later.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@GTBob Pains me to say, but 10RC wins big.  I think Miami is better than most of us know, because of who they have played.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@GTBob

Yeah, but you're the fool who said Bama was a "has been" program, who said Louisville would beat UGA, and who declared T Gurley unworthy of a first-round draft pick.

DoubleDawg
DoubleDawg

Listen…most dawgs fans (and when I say dawg fans I am referring to the larger population of fans who attended UGA and who rarely post obsessively on these blogs) have all been saying that it is going to take Kirby a few years before we can really judge his work.2018 is the year when I think we can watch and see what we really have.Maybe he is terrible and it was a bad hire.Maybe he is great and we see a better product (I am in this camp).

The move away from Richt was the right move and that is independent of what happens with this new regime.Change, although a very difficult decision, was the right way to go.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@DoubleDawg


NEW dog EXCUSE ALERT


NEW dog  EXCUSE ALERT


The "it is going to take Kirby a few years" 

OH:IO
OH:IO

@DoubleDawg


dogs are never satisfied. Never. Well,

maybe not never. 


1980 worked out OK. 



TOJacket
TOJacket

He!!......only took 15 years for Richt to knock on the door of mediocrity?

TOJacket
TOJacket

Does my heart good to hear all these positive dawg fans....last week could have been worse......could have been raining.

FlatTire
FlatTire

Whats up with comments being deleted

TOJacket
TOJacket

Are they censoring you today Flat?

FlatTire
FlatTire

@TOJacket evidently I posted on this blog last night and on chips blog he posted on the my ajc and the comments were deleted.


Im over on the Game Day Preview Blog  Georgia vs Tenn.


you know the Old blog format 


y'all come on over