Weekend Predictions: NCAA over Ole Miss but Ole Miss over Dogs

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Before getting to this week’s game between Georgia and the next football program to be dropped into the NCAA Tub of Leeches, Weekend Predictions Investments and Assorted Googled Obscure History References would like to remind you:

It was 64 years ago Friday when Richard Nixon gave his “Checkers” speech. For those of you who slept through U.S. history: Nixon, then only a shady vice presidential candidate who hadn’t yet fully blossomed into a corrupt president, was accused of financial improprieties related to a trust fund allegedly set up to reimburse him for political expenses, and maybe Milkbones.

Checkers and Richard Nixon share a quiet moment over Weekend Predictions.

Checkers and Richard Nixon, reading Weekend Predictions in 1952.

He denied wrongdoing in a speech but admitted receiving one gift: “Checkers,” his dog. And damn’t, “I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we’re gonna keep it.”

Ole Miss coach Hugh Freeze should remember this strategy.

The NCAA has been investigating Mississippi for everything except impersonating a post-Civil War campus. Academic fraud, out-of-control boosters, players driving loaner cars, parents staying in free hotel rooms, embarrassing a nation when Laremy Tunsil looked like a 320-pound, Dorito-eating, gasmask-wearing, bong-sucking Spicoli on NFL draft night.

When the NCAA swings the sledgehammer, Freeze can respond, “Fine! But we’re keeping the dog!”

Freeze has labeled the NCAA’s investigation “a four-year colonoscopy.”

Nice visual, particular this season. The Rebels have lost to Florida State and Alabama, and now play Georgia. Freshman Jacob Eason helped the Bulldogs pull out a win at Missouri. But if it was that hard at Missouri, what’s the foreshadowing in Oxford?

Mississippi is playing with a headache. But not leg chains. Yet.

Chad Kelly vs. Georgia’s defense: bad match-up. Bad timing. Bad game. Mississippi covers 7.

Celebrity review of Jacob Eason’s last TD since Kirby Smart limits player interviews

Sack Schultz 2016

Week 3 update:  I went 12-3 last week and climbed from 144th place to 55th. Look out, suckers. Last week’s winners were Doyle Albea of Winder and Bob Boyles of Phoenix, who each went 14-1. Still plenty of time to enter for a chance to win the weekly prizes and also the grand prizes: tickets to the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl and/or a $2,500 Apple Vacation. Go to MyAJC.com/go/sackschultz2016 to register. For more info click here.

Thursday Web-Only Special

The Swiss Army defense has multiple looks.

The Swiss Army defense has multiple looks.

Clemson at Georgia Tech: Welcome to the game that makes you, “Hmmm.” Paul Johnson is 5-4 vs. Dabo Swinney and 3-0 at home, which is pretty good when you compare rosters and the Jackets are closer to the Swiss Army fighting with the fold-out corkscrew. So tempted to push the button on an upset here but I’m just not digging Corkscrews vs. Deshaun Watson and the Clemson offense: Tigers win but take the Jackets and 9½.

College Daze

The winning trophy for the LSU-Auburn game. Or is it the losing trophy?

The winning trophy for the LSU-Auburn game. Or is it the losing trophy?

Burnin’ Butt Bowl: Welcome to the SEC, the only conference in the nation where you can have a game between two heads coaches (LSU’s Les Miles, Auburn’s Gus Malzahn) who’ve combined for three conference titles, three national title game appearance and one national championship and neither one is as popular as  … Bobby Petrino? Wait, who’s that shadowy figure behind the airplane hangar? To the knucklehead who started the GoFundMe page for Malzahn’s buyout: Please. No more sucking on paint chips. LSU covers 3.

Florida at Tennessee: This series isn’t the same without Steve Spurrier pulling Phil Fulmer’s shirt over his head and stuffing him into a locker (big locker) and mocking, “You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.” Or, “I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.” Or, “This will be the 14th time I’ve coached in Neyland Stadium. I’ve coached there more than some of their head coaches.” A new day: Vols cover 6½.

South Carolina at Kentucky: The Gamecocks are 2-8 in SEC games since 2015, both wins coming over Vanderbilt. Steve Spurrier trainwrecked the program before ducking out the back door but he can’t hear your complaints: He’s got his feet up in Florida and drinking something out of a smoking coconut in Florida. Cats cover 2.

Will Muschamp arrives in Columbia — or Bolivia

Florida State at South Florida: Biggest shock last week wasn’t FSU getting blown out at Louisville but Jimbo Fisher for not leaving at halftime and driving to Baton Rouge. Seminoles cover 5.

Pros and Protesters

Matt Ryan's playbook can fit into a fortune cookie.

Matt Ryan’s playbook can fit into a fortune cookie.

Falcons at Saints:  The Falcons are banged up on defense, have little pass rush and they’re about to go against Drew Brees, who hasn’t thrown an interception in 268 straight passes and is 15-6 all-time against the Falcons with over 6,400 yards and 38 touchdowns. Which is why I’m here to say: They’ll win anyway. Because the Saints’ defense is even worse. Take the gift 3, Falcons in an upset.

Vikings at Panthers: Minnesota has already lost its starting quarterback (Teddy Bridgewater), starting running back (Adrian Peterson) and starting left tackle (Matt Kalil). Fortunately, the team is showing no signs of typhoid, scurvy, Bubonic plague, flesh-eating viruses or severe lactose intolerance and in the words of team physician Dr. Black Knight, “It’s only a flesh wound. I’m invincible!” This won’t end well. Carolina covers 7.

Sorry, this never gets old to me

Bears at Cowboys: Before Chicago fans get too excited about Jay Cutler being injured, they should know their team is now being quarterbacked by Brian Hoyer, who was cut by Cleveland and was held in such low regard by Houston that he was dumped after a playoff run. I’m with Dak. Dallas covers 7.

Redskins at Giants: Dan Snyder is drawn to bad free agents like a Labrador to old leftovers in the garbage. But he was smart enough to avoid committing long-term to Kirk Cousins. Cousins in the red zone last year: 22 touchdowns, 0 interceptions. 113.5 rating. So far this year: one TD, two picks, 19.6 rating. Next year: Browns. Giants cover 5.

49ers at Seahawks: Seattle’s offense has produced one touchdown in two games. Chip Kelly spits on your playbook. Seahawks win but take the 49ers and nine.

Steelers at Eagles: A Philly cheesesteak place announced it will give free cheesesteak sandwiches to everybody if the Eagles win the Super Bowl. Hey, I’ll give everybody two cheesesteaks. And fries. And a house. Pittsburgh covers 3½ on the road.

John Oliver (in recent riff on charter schools) clearly not a fan of cheesesteaks, Eagles’ fans

P&L Statement

profitlossriskdecisionoutcomelg“A pack of cards is the devil’s prayer book.” — German proverb

Last week: 13-3 straight up, 9-7 against the line.

Week 3 totes: 30-9 straight up, 20-17-2 against the line.

Lock of the week: Master.

Lilly’s pick: The mutt is 2-1 after last week’s plunge on Georgia. This week, it’s Georgia vs. Ole Miss. Kirby Smart on left. Hugh Freeze on the right. Cheese balls on both foreheads. Lilly goes left. Upset. Georgia wins.

Lilly is going with the upset: Georgia over Ole Miss. (Jeff Schultz / jschultz@ajc.com)

Lilly is going with the upset: Georgia over Ole Miss. (Jeff Schultz / jschultz@ajc.com)

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289 comments
Hookedonshortpasses
Hookedonshortpasses

did we see two boat races this week?


is this what a "rented mule" looks like?

TOJacket
TOJacket

Why aren't you dawgs calling for Kirby to be fired? You folks want to get CPJ fired for a a$$ whipping?......hypocrites

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@TOJacket

Come on TO, it is Smart's first year, he is 3-1 .Only the most delusional Dog Fan would think UGa was going to go undefeated this year. As far as CPJ goes why would any UGa fan want him to be fired.

There is much more Fire CPJ noise on the Tech Blogs than on any Dog Blog.

TOJacket
TOJacket

Big Wally.........maybe next year?.....lol

LOGS1973
LOGS1973

Dog gone it!! Dogs hung tough and were in it till the bitter end!!

TOJacket
TOJacket

Don't be to tough on yourselves....y'all matched up real nice with their 3rd string.

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@TOJacket

I'm afraid you folks may be saying the same thing , when Miami comes to the Dud next weekend.

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

You have to be a special kind of stupid to not forsee georgia's immediate future. Have you not watched the last three games? Well, two games and an Ole Miss scrimmage. You all are played out, a mere afterthought if that.

TOJacket
TOJacket

Surely we can give them a better game than what y'all gave Ole Miss!....lol

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

Emerson seems to be riling up the CMR crowd on the BarfNation site. I wonder if Schultzie is going to be sober enough to post his post game breakdown of the Dogs.Chip well who really cares........

Eric_C
Eric_C

@OH:IO not sure where "another whipping" from the "west division" is coming from.  Aside from UA in recent years, no team in the west has owned UGA.

0.370798379559
0.370798379559

I hope all the folks screaming to fire Coach Richt because "he just couldn't seem to win the big games against ranked opponents" are happy now.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@0.370798379559

Hey, at least you're happy. Just think, Smart could lose the rest of his games this season--and Richt win all of his--and make your dreams come true.

Eric_C
Eric_C

@0.370798379559 no, they are just ecstatic about the shape of the OL, DL, STs, and having to start a true freshman at QB. 

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@0.370798379559

I told you ,get ready for a non stop attack from the CMR crowd. I hope they all show up next week at the Dud and watch their hero but a whipping on Tech.

0.370798379559
0.370798379559

You should keep your leftist liberal politics to yourself, or see if you can get hired by someone to write an opinion column.  Maybe the Huffington Post would be a good fit.  You're a sports reporter and we read you for sports, not to hear your political biases. 

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

You all can't even fathom the genius of Kirby Smart. He's just playing vanilla so he doesn't tip his hand and show Tennessee anything next week. Or the next week, or the following week, or the week after that. 

FlatTire
FlatTire

@Voltaire? I guess we can say the same for coach Paul; Im sure he doesn't want to show anything before November against UGA

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

@FlatTire @Voltaire? You bore me. I will no longer respond to you until you accumulate some cool points. At least DawgNole is witty from time to time.

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

No comeback? You mirror every thing I say, you have zero creativity and you bore me. Come up with something original.

OH:IO
OH:IO

Could someone tell the OC that wearing a black 3/4 sleeve 1/2 zip when it's in the mid 90' in Miss. does not make him look slimmer? 

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@FlatTire @OH:IO 

I would say Chaney needs to be in the coaches box upstairs, problem is he just might not be able to fit in the box.

LOGS1973
LOGS1973

@FlatTire @Buschleaguer Great play calling by the dogs.. Problem is, they have no athletes to

make the plays, very weak in all areas as you know. Where do those 4 star kids go when they hit Athens?

OH:IO
OH:IO

I'm telling you, if Chuck and Duck gets a haircut and the OC stays away from the buffet, you never know what might happen. 

Lakeside97
Lakeside97

The team is young.  The QB is only a freshman.  This is only Smart's first year.  Wait until he has a full recruiting class.  We won 10 games last year.  Expectations are unrealistic.  Next year will be our year.  We need a new D.C.  We need a new O.F.  We play in the toughest conference.  We don't cheat like other schools.  We shouldn't have worn the black jersey's.  We win 9 to 10 games every year.  Who are you going to replace him with that can do any better?  We were 1 one touchdown away from going to the national championship game.  We should have been considered national champions after beating Hawaii. 



Same ish, different season.


See ya next year.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Lakeside97


I only counted 9 excuses?


Anyone else want to give it a shot?

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@OH:IO @Lakeside97

When a team gets beat 45-14 ,there are plenty of excuses, but ultimately in football most games are won and lost on the line of scrimmage. Fact is UGa was  whipped on both sides of the ball at the line of scrimmage. Smart and Chaney better find out at practice this week which lineman on both sides of the ball that want to compete and play them.The word is out on stopping the dogs offense ,stack the box and make the QB and the WRs beat your DBs in single coverage.So far the QB and WRs for the Dogs have come up short.

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

I'm trying to help my uGA friends out. I'm currently checking the Mississippi law books to see if there's any law against impersonating a Division 1 football team. I'm keeping my fingers crossed....

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@Voltaire? Very witty , should be a short read most law books at Ole Miss are written in Crayon.

LOGS1973
LOGS1973

@FlatTire @Voltaire? You only wish your weak dogs played half as good as GT///Who is Nicholls State by the way.. Justin Thomas is a better passer than Easons.. Where are the dog quarterbacks.

You have nothing else? Where are your receivers?

OH:IO
OH:IO

Nice 0-line play. 


Down goes Chuck and Duck.

OH:IO
OH:IO

At least dogs beat Nicholls State! 

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Tell the folks how you finally learned how to spell it.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@DawgNole


Backpat? Is that what you want after two butt whoopings, dog is a hole?

OH:IO
OH:IO

Hey dogs, say hello to "others receiving votes". 

FlatTire
FlatTire

@OH:IO like Tech oh wait they won't even say that for Tech

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

@FlatTire @OH:IO Can you even try to be cool or witty? You're so lame and square it's not even fun responding to you.

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

@Buschleaguer @Voltaire? @OH:IO  After watching this ''game'' you will have become quite acclimated to high school play as well. In every facet: offense, defense, special teams, and coaching- all terms used loosely again! This is petametres beyond embarrassing...

FlatTire
FlatTire

@Voltaire?  oh you mean like Tech last year with their outstanding 3-9 record with their oh so vaunted and highly talked  about 1893 era offense


yea exposed... sure

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

@FlatTire @Voltaire? There you go again with another lame response. Unplug your computer and go hire a life coach. Oh wait, you have no life to coach....

Voltaire?
Voltaire?

@FlatTire @Voltaire? That was embarrassing, no doubt. What's happening at the Ole Miss scrimmage is BEYOND embarrassing. I don't even have the words to describe it and I'm fluent in four different languages. I would say you all just got exposed but that would be a compliment.

LOGS1973
LOGS1973

@Voltaire? @FlatTire @OH:IO Easy on the FlatTire... The dogs were only slaughtered because of the early start.. Was there any mud on the field?? lol