Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets win (but Lilly has another view)

chalk

DUBLIN — From somewhere near the banks of the Muir Eireann (Irish Sea, but I’m trying to blend), where nobody seems to care about the SEC or ACC or Greyson Lambert or Jacob Eason or the belated admission by the Seiler family that the Georgia mascot was looking and breathing like a mutant 120-pound hamster, but I swear I overheard an old guy on a bus tour tell a group of kids while holding a fake axe, “We used to cut off people’s heads but then we went into the E.U.and now we can’t do that anymore” . . .

Hello, I am back.

Weekend Predictions, on the road this week looking for candidates to outsource our research department in various Dublin dubs, and this could take a while, is back for another (possibly) lucrative season, filled with (almost) guaranteed winners, or a pot of gold.

By now, you should know how this works: Every week, I give you the winners. It’s your job to find them. Some of the “winners” may appear as orchestrated losses intended to throw off competing investment services. We take the revenue from the fools who bet the losses and put it back into our mug, I mean research. You should be able to decipher the real picks from the fake ones by using your Weekend Predictions Code Book ($39.95. Not available for download, just mail me the cash I’ll mail you the book, eventually).

It has been strange being in Dublin. The college football season is starting but the Irish Times newspaper included four pages of soccer, three pages of Gaelic football, two pages of rugby, two pages of horse racing, a half-page page of tennis, a half-page of golf and a paragraph of cycling but not even one headline asking, “Lambert or Eason? Who, Kirby? Who? Who?!? WHO?”

Nobody in Dublin cares. For confirmation, and pure research purposes, I walked into Boyle Sports, an off-track/off-field betting establishment (next door to a strip club, another “establishment”) and noticed three old guys staring intently at video of horse races, and then my shoes. The young teller behind the window, Nadine, assured me I could wager on the Georgia-North Carolina game if I chose to.

“We don’t usually get too many who bet on American college football. But the ones who do bet a lot,” she said.

Me: Like degenerate Americans?

Her: “Yes.”

Me: Who should I pick?

Her: “I’m not sure. What’s their names?”

Me: The Bulldogs and the Tar Heels.

Her: “What a Tar Heel?”

Me: “It’s something that usually disappears in October or November.

Her: “What?”

Me: Never mind.

Her: “I like the Bulldogs. They sound better.”

You know what? I’m sure there’s another reason why I think Georgia will win its opener. But I can’t think of anything better than, “They sound better.”

Greyson Lambert will start over Jacob Eason. I’m not sure it matters because both will play and this game will come down to the Bulldogs’ defense and running game and North Carolina players standing in a huddle, wondering, “Wait. Why are we the Tar Heels again? I know it came up on the campus tour.”

Georgia wins and covers 2½.

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Somewhere Over The Pond

Nothing says college football in Dublin like "Georgia vs. Boston." (Ken Sugiura / ksugiura@ajc.com)

Nothing says college football in Dublin like “Georgia vs. Boston.” (Ken Sugiura / ksugiura@ajc.com)

Georgia Tech vs. Boston College: One Dublin fanwear store is selling green “Georgia” vs.”Boston” T-shirts to promote this game, which is going to be a shock to the Bulldogs and the … Celtics? If Tech wanted to suffer an identity crisis, they could’ve just stayed home. Hey, at least Mike Bobinski isn’t around to shuttle them via mule train. The Green Jackets cover 3.

This will do nothing to improve Ireland-U.S. relations: a short history of Ireland

Thursday Night Online Only Special

South Carolina at Vanderbilt: Steve Spurrier quit South Carolina during last season — I think it was third-and-10, and he was out of ideas, and players, and had no conscience — because he said he wanted to give the program the best chance to regroup and succeed (Hahaha. OK.), and he left the Gamecocks in such great shape that they were forced to sign Will Muschamp off the table of marked-down coaches and slightly irregular socks and now they open the season as underdogs to Vanderbilt. Well, it’ll be fun in Nashville. Commodores win and cover 4½.

Week 1 Value Menu

(Add fries and an Alabama graduate transfer for $1.99, assuming you can back Nick Saban into a corner with a blow torch.)

South Alabama at Starkville State Penitentiary: Great offseason for Mississippi State. Recruit Jeffery Simmons punched a woman in the face, so coach Dan Mullen suspended him … for one game … against a Sun Belt team. Had Simmons punched two women, Mullen would’ve withheld dessert for a week. Another player, Nick James, has been arrested four times in the last three years, but back off, he’s a starter. May I interest you in a pair of official team blinders? MSU  wins but take the other team and 29.

Mississippi State gets together for a team picture.

Mississippi State gets together for a team picture.

U-Mass at Florida: An Ireland soccer team played an easy opponent outside of league play this week. It was called a “friendly.” I think that’s what Florida should start calling its non-conference games. Gators cover 36½.

Clemson at Auburn: Since going 12-2 with an SEC title and a national title game appearance in year one, Gus Malzahn is 15-11 overal, 6-10 in the SEC and 3-7 vs. ranked opponents. He’s starting to look more like Gene Chizik. An even bigger upset: Dabo Swinney is starting to look like somebody other than Dabo Swinney. Clemson covers 7½.

Alabama vs. Remains of USC: The afterglow of a national championship for Nick Saban never seems to last long. He forced an assistant coach to resign after likely NCAA recruiting violations (pending), ranted about the “wild, wild west” that satellite camps can create (this from one of the former masters of “gray shirts” and oversigning) and got hammered for refusing to let graduate transfer Maurice Smith go to Georgia, until finally bowing to public humiliation. So basically he has reason to blow up your planet again. Duck. Tide covers 11½.

No more questions for Nick Saban. Ask the bottle

Florida A&M at Miami: Mark Richt dismissed two defensive starters who reportedly were being allowed to drive expensive rental cars in exchange for future representation as pros, which, as it turns out, has been against NCAA rules since the late 1700s, except possibly in Miami. Richt came out of a seven-minute retirement for this. Over/under on the first: “What have I done?” Hurricanes cover 30½.

Ball State at Georgia State: The Panthers play their final home season in the Georgia Dome. Why not just let everybody in for free and see if it makes a difference? Panthers cover 3½.

Bottom Dollars

“You don’t gamble to win. You gamble so you can gamble the next day.” — Bert Ambrose

Sack-Schultz-artSeason record: 0-0 (but trending upward).

Lilly’s pick: I did this early in the week and struggled to keep under wraps. When I opened my office door and let the mutt into the LillyDome, Lilly looked at two cheese’d pictures, one of Uga and the other of a sheep with fake ram horns (mutant North Carolina mascot). She rarely has picked against Georgia but looked confused. Then she chose: Heels! Maybe the Uga “outbreeding” story threw her off.

lilly

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73 comments
BillyBarnard
BillyBarnard

Schultzie, greatest opening week of College Football and these are the games you pick?  No LSU vs WI, FSU vs Ole Miss?? Let me put this gently. You're Fired.


OH:IO
OH:IO

Nicholls State is a noon snoozer on the regional interest network. 


Mizzou is a 7:30 snoozer on the same network - the school that needs safe spaces. 


Ohio State vs OK or dogs vs THE safe spacers? Wonder how the ratings will shake out?

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO Starting to get to you about all those noon kickoffs tomorrow aren't I.  You are like shooting fish in a barrel for me.  Not even a challenge anymore.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Bowling Green also is a regional interest network noon snoozer, lying hypocrite.

Big Wally
Big Wally

Blowhio must be forgetting that App. State beat one of the Big Noon Conference's powerhouse teams at their place a few years ago.  Uh - oh!

charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@Big Wally dont you have remedial engrish classes to attend?  or is this the day you had to see your probation officer? speaking of which...

why is it that the big thing for dwags is they enjoy have sex with dogs? every year there are stories about uga fans being arrested for having sex with dogs..... and goats. which did you prefer?

i get it. your jealous of tosu. if it were close i could understand your whining but the dwags are not even in the same universe as tosu. you embarrass yourself and your school "sic*

-more national national championships.
-but for michigan tosu would have led the entire country in attendance like forever.
-tosu has never been in the fulmer cup ratings let alone won it like the dwags. the dwags have more fb players arrested in a year than tosu does in 10+ years
- the dawgs had jan kemp. tosu has real english classes
-the dwags had vince dooley. lmfao
-last time i looked tosu beat ua like a drum on their way to a nc. have the dwags EVER beat bama?
-etc etc etc.

even the state of ohio was on the right side of history wrt racism and slavery. snicker.

and lastly.  are you a dwag or a billy goat?

tosu has been the buckeyes from day one of their illustrious  history. meanwhile... you uga fans have an identity crisis. 

are you the dwags or the billy goats? bahhhhhh,  could be the reason for your multiple choices on sexual partners. lmfao

DawgNole
DawgNole

@charlestonian77

Remedial "engrish" classes???

"Your" jealous???

So osu has "real English classes," but you didn't bother to attend. 

It shows clearly in your lame posts.

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO Statistically speaking no.  That would be the Leper Division of the Big Noon Conference where Iowa is the only ranked team, tied with the Coastal Div. of the ACC, where only NC is the only ranked team.  Nice try though.

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@Big Wally @OH:IO Bottom feeders of the B1G are the worst of the Power 5 conferences :

#75 Indiana

#76 Minnesota

#80 Maryland

#99 Illinois

#103 Rutgers

#113 Purdue


TideDawg
TideDawg

After weeks of screaming it's got to be Eason. Atlanta sports writers ......"We knew all the time Lambert would start". Eason will eventually be "The Man" but it's not going to be this week. Experience and game management will trump promising talent every time.....provided the coach is sane. Remember the Florida game last year and the Dawg starter? A moment of insanity and the Dawgs lost the East. I don't think Smart will make that mistake at QB. Eason will play and the Dawgs future will flash before your eyes.

charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@OH:IO @TideDawg well the dwags/billy goats have one thing to be thankful for.

when they go to their bowl in florida they wont have to worry about facing coach oleary. 


OH:IO
OH:IO

The hell with UNC, it's almost Nicholls State Week! 

Big Wally
Big Wally

@OH:IO Considering the Big Noon Conference has only been a two team conference for what, the last 80 years, you have a lot of room to talk.

OH:IO
OH:IO

TN - OT...at home...App State


SC - 3 point win over Vandy


Two dominant SEC! SEC! Least performances

GTBee
GTBee

Yea Lilly!!!

xpuctaqpgt
xpuctaqpgt

I am in Ireland for the game.  Gooooooo Jackets!  Sting em!!!!

charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@twelveofthirteen  given that you billy goats routinely finish in the top 10 of the fulmer cup.....

i would call your  jab as being pretty lame. ill take free tats over mug shots any day.

at least tosu players dont wreck scooters and steal their own team mates cell phone. snicker.

 

even your former coaches have mug shots. lmao.

AllanBC
AllanBC

Unc is overrated as usual -/ the dogs win easy and cover - bet the house!

btgt69
btgt69

I think the photo of the MS State team is really the jaildawgs. After all, they the national championship in most player arrests in 1H16.

twelveofthirteen
twelveofthirteen

Which teams might fill out future Ohio State football schedules?

Buckeyes face Bowling Green and Tulsa, two exciting non-Power 5 programs that should compete for bowl games, and light up the scoreboard. Of all the criticisms that could be thrown at Ohio State next season, “they ain’t played nobody” should remain the norm.

"Should compete for bowl games" hahaha.

"Light up the scoreboard" hahahaha.

"They ain't played nobody" hahahaha nice grammer Ohioans.

Ohioans - - Knows all 4 seasons by heart: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter and

Construction.

gt1995
gt1995

@twelveofthirteen If I read the schedule correctly, tOSU plays Oklahoma in week 3. Throw in Wisconsin and MSU and I would say no one has three more treacherous road games on their schedule.

TideDawg
TideDawg

@gt1995 @twelveofthirteen How about them scheduling USC, Ole Miss, Ark., Tennessee, and LSU for road games in one season?...........So, OSU has a tough 3 game schedule......my heart bleeds for them.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

"Wehn"???

STILL waiting.

In the playoffs???

Looks like another one of your astute predictions--like last year when you stupidly picked GT to beat UGA.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Is that why you finally started spelling the name correctly?

charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@twelveofthirteen i give up you win. you are exactly right.

tosu beat a no account team for their LAST NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP TWO YEARS AGO.  you caught us 'red' handed.

can i ask you a question?  i keep hearing that herschel is coming back as he has more eligibility left.

my question is... which herschel?


charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@TideDawg @gt1995 @twelveofthirteen

when the tide stops cheating then we will talk.

aint no oversiging going on at tosu.
meanwhile lsu and bama routinely lead the country in grey shirts red shirts brown shirts black shirts purple shirts.... any color shirt that your cheating coach can come up with. he takes after the bear in that respect.


"if we aint cheating we aint winning": bear bryant

sorry but there is no honor in winning when you have to cheat to do it, none.

you can pound your chest all you want but we all know why bama does what it does. even the coaches across the country and the media know why bama is successful.

the state of alabama has a reputation  *sic* to uphold. lmfao.




charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@TideDawg @twelveofthirteen 

tosu didnt play anybody two years ago either on its way to yet another nc. YOUR WORDS NOT MINE!

rumor has it that coach saban sent a thank you card to the msu coach last year for taking tosu out.

he was finally able to relief himself as he couldnt take a bowel movement over the idea of having to playt tosu again.

until tosu lost i hear saban could pick up dimes with his a##.



charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@twelveofthirteen you know how you can tell when you are kicking somebody's tail in an argument? 

'wehn' they have to resort to lame punctuation and grammar attacks.

they have no bullets. no ammo. none. so they grasp at straws. 

i think that the tar heals will beat the billy goats saturday in a 2 td win.

so go baaaaaaaaa ck to your smelly toilet bowl of a stadium that reeks of stale urine and feces.

or is that the uga library.  i get 'cornfused'. oh wait... its both.

"Michael Adams, UGA President:
There was urination, there was defecation, there were 70 tons of trash.  Buildings like the Law School or the library, we’ve had to close because when we left them open the destruction was too significant."

stay classy you billy goats you.




charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@DawgNole @OH:IO  anybody that is a fan of rape u / free shoes u and the a school that routinely finishes in the fulmer cup top 10 has no room to talk.

i hope i dont hurt your mangina by saying that dwag hole.


Grant1296
Grant1296

Tar heals???

Perhaps you should try some on that butthurt.....

BUG.