Weekend Predictions: Lilly takes the lead and likes the Falcons

Some winning selections this week from Lilly and The Humanoid.

Some winning selections this week from Lilly and The Humanoid.

Some winning selections this week from Lilly and The Humanoid.

Hello. This is Lilly, the humanoid’s brilliant canine, or as I like to call myself, “The superior being.”

A selfie of sheer brilliance: Lilly The Greek pondering this week's pick.

A selfie of sheer brilliance: Lilly The Greek pondering this week’s pick.

Follow me on Twitter and I guarantee that you’ll get more accurate picks than the two-legged geranium who last week told you Georgia Tech would beat Notre Dame (phhhhfft) and Georgia wouldn’t cover against South Carolina. I laughed so hard that I p.. … well, I’m glad I don’t wear pants.

So as I was …

SQUIRREL!!!

Missed him.

Knucklehead is preparing my processed cheese food for my expert pick of the week, which you can find below and then you can ignore the other 800 characters of drivel. I’m here to tell ….

BIRDS AT THE FEEDER!!!

They fly. I hate that.

So before mushhead gets back, a reminder that I’m 2-1 this season, which is far more reliable investment advice than you find anywhere else, certainly on this page. This week, I …

Fleas. Uh …

Oh yeah …

Oh yeahhh. That’s the spot …

Anyway. Since Blunder Boy was so bad against the spread last week, he let me take over. It’s only a matter of time before I’m writing the whole column and he’s down all fours, picking between chunks of Pop Tarts stuck to two pictures on a wall. It’s so demeaning. Hey, YOU get off the couch, Fuzzface!

So where was I? This is easy. He gets paid for this?

The Falcons play Dallas this week. Jughead Jerry Jones, who I would imagine feeds his dogs better food than crap-from-the-bag-on-sale, is losing it. Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has a fractured clavicle. But Jonesy says of the No. 2 guy, Brandon Weeden, “He’s a thing of beauty on throwing a football. His passing motion and his arm, frankly, you won’t see a more gifted passer.”

Of course. That’s why Cleveland released him.

How did Jones make a billion dollars? Selling potions to other dumb humans?

The Falcons have gone from 4½-point underdogs to two-point favorites. You want to win this week? Here’s an easy one: Birds win and cover.

Now, for the losing picks, read the rest. It’s all yours, Mr. Evolved Species.

Dept. of Fantasy Football Overkill (via Funny Or Die)

SCHOOL DAZE

Southern at Georgia: The contract says Southern must bring the school’s famous band to the game. Strange. It doesn’t say anything about bringing the football team. Seriously, if the players had kazoos at halftime and the band members played at halftime, would the spread be bigger than 54½? Don’t blink or you’ll miss Nick Chubb. Dogs win but take the Band and 54½.

The Faber College band was a late scratch

Yech at Duke: If Georgia Tech’s objective was to not have anybody take them seriously for the next several weeks, well, congratulations, Jackets. Certainly, everybody stopped paying attention after Notre Dame jumped ahead 30-7 last week. I’m no expert but I know this: It helps to block. Buzz wins but take Duke and 8½.

Mississippi State at Fantasyland: Will Muschamp was supposed to be Auburn’s defensive savior but the Tigers rank 100th after three games. Auburn also is changing quarterbacks, so I guess that means Jeremy Johnson’s Heisman campaign is over. The new Auburn quarterback is Sean White, whom his “private” quarterbacks coach compared to Tom Brady. You know what Auburn really needs? A “Just Shut Up” week. Take the 1½ and Mississippi State straight up.

George O'Leary (left) and Steve Spurrier pose for photographers this week.

George O’Leary (left) and Steve Spurrier pose for photographers this week.

Ashes To Ashes Bowl (Central Florida vs. South Carolina). George O’Leary and Steve Spurrier will meet on the field before the game. In urns. Roosters cover 15.

Louisiana-Monroe at Alabama: Remember 2007? Alabama lost to Louisiana Monroe and Nick Saban (probably still dazed) said he hoped his program could bounce back from a “catastrophic event” just like the U.S. after 9/11 and Pearl Harbor. It was a completely inappropriate analogy, but for no bigger reason than this: Most of the nation was celebrating after the Alabama lost. Tide wins but take ULM and 38.

Tennessee at Florida: Florida coach Jim McElwain suspended two players this week, so apparently he’s determined to follow a different path to success than Urban Meyer. Vols cover 1.

Louisville at Samford: Bobby Petrino is 0-3 and his passing offense has accounted for two touchdowns, five interceptions and 11 sacks and is ranked 111th in efficiency in the nation. And the angels sing. Let’s see if he can handle an FCS team. Weasel covers 28.

Maybe Petrino can try this play

NFL SNACK PACK

Hey look, Saints' fans. Found a picture of your coach when he was in New York. Jacket fits. (AP photo)

Hey, Saints’ fans. Found a picture of Payton when he was in New York. Jacket fits. (AP photo)

Saints at Panthers: Drew Brees right arm is dangling from his shoulder like limp linguine and the Saints are 7-12 since their last playoff win in 2013. On a related note, who wrote “Sean Payton” on Tom Coughlin’s parking space this week? Panthers cover 3.

Raiders at Browns: Johnny Manziel (1-0) has more wins this season than Drew Brees (0-2), Andrew Luck (0-2), Russell Wilson (0-2), Joe Flacco (0-2), Eli Manning (0-2) and Matthew Stafford (0-2). Enjoy the pink unicorn show at halftime. Browns cover 3½.

Eagles at Jets: Chip Kelly’s world-changing, astrophysics-like offense ranks 28th in points, 25th in yards and has totaled 70 yard rushing in two games, which is less than 31 teams and four … QUARTERBACKS (!). Fortunately, Philadelphia fans are patient. (Pause for effect.) Mind boggling stat of the week: Jets’ defense has 10 takeaways. So it’s clear Rex Ryan was holding them back. New York covers 2½.

This Tweet says it all:

Bills at Dolphins: The Dolphins defense may be struggling because Ndamukong Suh is ignoring coaches and running his own playbook, according to the Miami Herald, which is a hard to imagine for such a chemically balanced, team guy. Or not. Miami wins but take Buffalo and 3.

Bears at Seahawks: Kam Chancellor says he ended his holdout because he suddenly felt sorry for teammates after Seattle’s 0-2 start. You know, the same teammates he submarined when he decided to hold out only one year into a four-year contract extension. Maybe with his next bonus, he can buy a clue. Seahawks win but take Chicago and 14½.

Nachos, Lies and Videotape

football-gambling“If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes and the quitting time.” — Chinese Proverb

Last week (cover your eyes): 8-6 straight up, 6-8 against the line.

Fiscal report: 26-11 straight up, 17-19-1 against the line.

Sack Schultz update: Last week’s winners were Ken Meaney of New York (14-1) and Louis Lawhorn of New Mexico (13-2). I went only 10-5 and at 34-11 I’m five back of leader “Hammer63” of Alabama (39-6). Weekly prizes! Enter at AJC.com/go/sackschultz2015.

 

Reader Comments 0

359 comments
Hairy Dawg
Hairy Dawg

This here was good week.

Awfull Burn and Tenn Orange Pumkins stunk it up and Mizzou choke on road. Dawgs running away with East cause we own it and that sets up Dome game at home to win playoff spot. Only bad thing was Gaytors winning but someone had to embarass Butch as chump.

And the Pestky Bugs lost. They just sorry and dont play real football like the SECs teams.

Now we get to be good Christian team that unload the whooping can on Satans rolling tidey bowls.

OH:IO
OH:IO

In case you missed it, Savior Skinny was "brilliant" last night.

OH:IO
OH:IO

Welcome to Bama's B-dog week! 

HotDawg
HotDawg

Roll Turds.....down the toilet.

Go Dawgs!

Big Wally
Big Wally

0-2 in the SEC on the Plains.   Tennessee chokes another 4th quarter lead.   Couldn't be happier.

HotDawg
HotDawg

That God forsaken state, towards the left, is apoplectic.

The Sybil's, Gus bus is being towed to the junk yard.

And the redneck Harvey Updyke's and (sy)Phyllis's are toast.

Eat sheeeet and die bamalama trash.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Big Wally


Wait til next Saturday. We'll see how happy you are then. 

Wilbo
Wilbo

You think people stopped taking Ga. Tech seriously last week?

DoubleDawg
DoubleDawg

UGA and gt both do what is expected

TOJacket
TOJacket

That Dawgnation Pre-game blog is going over like a stool in the pool?

OH:IO
OH:IO

For 12/13:


Free Lilly! 

GloryBetweenTheHedges
GloryBetweenTheHedges

Mark Richt has a great all around coaching staff finally put into place. check

Georgia is building a great defense under Pruitt. check

Georgia is starting to keep the most elite players in the state at home. check

Georgia is recruiting top notch lineman. check

Mark Richt for the first time ever has no kids at the house so he can focus all his time on football. check

Georgia has a O coordinator that appears to not want to get cute at the worst times. check


I know you are all praying for the injury bug to hit Georgia. Because honestly that is what it is going to take at this point to derail us from making a playoff run. But I am not going to be a homer and say we run the table. We are going to lose at least a game along the way. Could be Bama, or Tennessee on the road, who knows maybe Florida again. Its going to happen. The body of work is what counts though. LSU is not as good as people are making them out to be. People easily forget about the Miss st game they just almost lost. Bama is not up to their standards even though they are still a good football team. Ole Miss has talent but are not use to the spot light.





TrueFan1
TrueFan1

@GloryBetweenTheHedges cupcakes are good. Just ask Ohio St. ...Hey whatever we need to do to make it to the playoffs.... Ohio st. cupcake schedule is what we should model ourselves after... should of done this sooner...

Wreck13
Wreck13

The Delusion of the dog fans is too funny?

Big Wally
Big Wally

@Wreck13 @Big Wally Really?  That will be your homework assignment.  Google Rudy movies.  There will be a test next week.

Grant1296
Grant1296

Bobby....

Everyone knows the only reason your slamming Bamma, is you're deathly afraid UGA is going to beat them...

If Georgia wins you simply say I told you Bamma stinks....If the tide wins you can gloat over a UGA loss....

Such a smart little nerd....

Grant1296
Grant1296

Bamma wouldn't have to throw it BOB....

Alabama has a real running game...

GTBob
GTBob

@Grant1296 I really don't care if UGA beats them or not. I just know that what I saw against Ole Miss wasn't the Bama of the past. They turn the ball over way too much, have no identity on offense and their defense is atrocious.

Grant1296
Grant1296

Yhea...Tech has a much better front seven on D than Bamma...

GTBob
GTBob

@Grant1296 What does Tech have to do with Bamas defense? Also, you may want to consider the guys behind that front 7 for Bama. 

GTBob
GTBob

@dawg fan I dislike Bama nearly as much as I dislike UGA. Personally, watching them get eliminated from playoff contention this early in the season would make me laugh. Especially considering the fact that they are pretty much the face of the SEC.

Grant1296
Grant1296

Goes back to you thinking ND is a world beater....

Bamma is a much better team than the Irish..

You act like they're the greatest team in history ....

They beat a mid-tier ACC school...

Wow....What an accomplishment ....

GTBob
GTBob

@Grant1296 What has Bama done that is more impressive? Notre Dame has beaten three P5 teams already. One of them in the top 15. Bama beat one team in the top 25, and got beaten easily at home. How is Bama better? What have they done that is so impressive to you?

Wreck13
Wreck13

@Grant1296 UGa could beat BAMA at home in the Cesspool but that doesn't make the Mutts better.

Grant1296
Grant1296

I'll explain it to you if you've taken your meds POAD....

Otherwise, it's much more entertaining discussing it with your buddy Bob...

Grant1296
Grant1296

By the way....

What happened to Caryd?

I'm worried about him....

GTBob
GTBob

@Grant1296 They do. And for some reason they always abandon it. They have a shaky defense at best, no QB, and an offensive coordinator who seems to get bored with running plays. They aren't great by any stretch of the imagination. I have yet to hear any argument for why they are so good. Are you really just hypnotized by the Bama name?

Grant1296
Grant1296

Not at all Bob, but I respect them (unlike Georgia Tech)

I think VanGorder would have to earn his money VS Bamma....

He had a cake walk last Saturday ...

dawg fan
dawg fan

@GTBob 


"I really don't care if UGA beats them or not."



Bwahahahahahaha!!!  Sure thing Bub.  And I'm the tooth fairy. 

GTBob
GTBob

@Grant1296 Yeah, they spent most of the offseason preparing for it, created special scout team for it and hired a consultant to help prepare for it all because defending us is a cake walk. If it is so easy, what has your team been doing the last 8 years or so?

BVG would probably love playing against Bama. NDs strength is their run defense and Bama has no QB.

TOJacket
TOJacket

@Grant1296 I'm glad you asked that!........I was wondering when some one would miss me........glad it was you Grant........Dawgs beat Bama this year.......the tide have no QB?

TOJacket
TOJacket

@Grant1296 I should have first tipped my hat to the Irish for popping us in the mouth this past Saturday.........lets get after the dookies!!

TOJacket
TOJacket

@Grant1296 The Irish did us a favor.......made us remember we are still GT, we like being the under dog better.

Grant1296
Grant1296

It's nice to have you back.

BUG...

GTBob
GTBob

@DawgNole When you fall behind by 17 points mid way through the game and 19 points late in the game and you need an onside kick recovery to make the game look respectable then it wasn't a very hard game for the other team.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@GTBob @DawgNole

So you think Ole Miss coaches/players would proclaim it an "easy" win?

Stop lying.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket @DawgNole @GTBob

Are you asking (?)?

Again, it's doubtful anyone on the Ole Miss sideline would say it was an easy win--and they'd know a bit more about the difficulty factor that you, right?

DawgNole
DawgNole

@TOJacket @DawgNole @GTBob

Kinda like Duke's looking right about now.

If they hold on--and I sure hope they don't--that's a bigtime bubble-burst for y'all.