Predictions: I can’t block this Falcons’ upset from my brain

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Welcome to the beginning of the NFL season, or as Roger Goodell likes to call it, “The league where owners allow me to do anything I want because I help make them billions and then conveniently scream poverty when it’s time for a stadium initiative or new CBA talks, and I fully endorse knocking down historic churches for football fields with martini bars that do bupkis for the community and I prefer the optics of laying off secretaries during lockouts to letting everybody know about Spygate tapes because I’M THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE and … DAMN’T!!! Who forgot to send Judge Berman his free 30-day pass for the NFL Network! I’m tired. So tired. Care for a shrimp?”

It has been another disastrous week for Goodell. In addition to his real-legal-world setback in Deflategate, an ESPN Magazine story detailed how the league sought to cover up and destroy evidence that the New England Patriots taped opponents’ signals in 40 games — 40! — because Goodell thought it would be bad PR for the league. The resulting backlash from other owners, the story goes, is what led to Goodell overcompensating by suspending Tom Brady for four games instead of one or two, which was expected, for felonious ball deflation.

None of this affects the Falcons, who’ve been cleaning out every going-out-of-business sales, picking up offensive linemen like mismatched socks at Big Lots. They open the season against Philadelphia. If you’re one of the first 1,000 fans through the doors Monday night, you will be automatically entered into a contest for a chance to start at center.

The Falcons’ offensive line will be an adventure this season. So it follows a lot of folks are going the other way on this one. But I’ve got a weird feeling. Maybe it’s that andouille I just ate. The Eagles’ secondary is vulnerable and the Falcons’ defense should be improved this year under Dan Quinn.

Expect a lot of points. Surprise! I’ll take the extra three and the home team. Falcons in an upset.

Falcons go linemen shopping

When all else fails, remember the Titans’ play

*** THURSDAY WEB-ONLY SPECIALS ***

ParodyTease.com is selling these T-shirts, if you'd like one or 100.

ParodyTease.com is selling these T-shirts, if you’d like one or 100.

Steelers at Patriots: Tom Brady was NOT found innocent in Deflategate. U.S. District Judge Richard Berman merely slapped Kommandant Goodell around a little bit. If you doubt that you can ask the judge yourself: He’ll be at the game tonight, eating Maine lobster and Kobe beef kabobs in owner Robert Kraft’s luxury box. Pats win but take Pittsburgh and 7.

BACK TO SCHOOL

Georgia at Vanderbilt: Georgia moves up a half-notch in opponents from Louisiana-Monroe to Tennessee-Nashville. There was about a seven-minute stretch there when Vandy was turning into some semblance of a threat but then coach James Franklin went to Penn State and the Commodores again became a drive-thru on every SEC opponent’s schedule. Georgia covers 20½.

Tulane at Georgia Tech: I’m not making up: One of Tulane’s strength coaches was fired because she made a member of the school’s bowling team run for being an hour late to practice. School administrators must’ve believed this penalty was too harsh. They would’ve preferred the bowler just be docked their usual between-games double patty melt. So if that’s the bowling team standard, what does it say for football? Bees cover 28½.

Houston at Louisville: Hey, Petrino: It’s Thursday — call timeout! Louisville wins but I’ll Houston and 13.

Inside Bobby Petrino’s head last week

Georgia State at New Mexico State: Trent Miles has a long legitimate gripe list at Georgia State, but when you lose your opener at home to Charlotte (ranked No. 128 by Athlon) and you’re 1-24 in season three, a coach’s license to complain has been revoked. The other team covers (6½).

Oklahoma at Tennessee: Oklahoma linebacker Eric Striker  isn’t happy the SEC has 10 teams in the ranking: “I don’t know why people blow gas up their a** all the time.” So is this gas blowing action a thing in Norman? Take the 1 point but SEC punks win straight up.

LSU at Mississippi State: LSU lost up to $3.2 million when lightning and rain forced the cancellation of last week’s game against McNeese State. But the good news is, Baton Rouge finally got a bath. Tigers cover 4½.

East Carolina at Florida: Philly coach Chip Kelly told Tim Tebow that if he was serious about playing in the NFL, he should go to Canada. Tebow went back to broadcasting. Think about that the next time he says, “Just give me a chance.” (Sorry but there was nothing interesting about Florida-East Carolina.) Gators cover 20.

Flotsam at Alabama: Middle Tennessee State scored 70 points against Jackson State last week. So when you think about it, taking the 35 points at Alabama is just like leading 105-0 before opening kickoff. Welcome to Degenerate Gambler’s Mathematics. Bammy covers.

Saban’s slow burn after media guy suggests opponent is a creampuff

NFL

Some people have pictures of their kids on their desk. And others... (via North Shore Animal League's Facebook page)

Some people have pictures of their kids on their desk. And others… (via North Shore Animal League’s Facebook page)

Colts at Bills: There is new Facebook evidence that Buffalo coach Rex Ryan has a picture of his wife’s feet on his desk. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. Except: Keep on your toes against Andrew Luck. Colts cover 2½.

Packers at Bears: While watching a college game on TV the other night, Chicago receiver Eddie Royal Tweeted, “We really could use one of them quarterbacks Ohio State got.” That no doubt made Jay Cutler feel all warm and fuzzy. Should be a fun huddle. Packers cover 6½.

Saints at Cardinals: New Orleans coach Sean Payton is refusing to talk to the media during the week in person so he’s conducting his press conferences by conference call. But when you’re coming off a 7-9 season, Jimmy Graham leaves and your quarterback (Drew Brees) is 36, I guess you’d rather not show your face in public. Cards cover 2½.

Accountability scorecard

0-Sports-betting-tips

There are many harsh lessons to be learned from the gambling experience, but the harshest one of all is the difference between having fun and being smart.” — Hunter S. Thompson

Last week: 9-1 straight up, 6-4 against the line.

Sack Schultz update: I went 13-2. Our weekly local and national winner last week was Dwight Flowers of Hephzibah, Ga., who went 15-0 and is clearly on PEDs. Want to win $2,500 from Apple, Kroger gift cards and Chick-fil-A Bowl tickets? Go to ajc.com/go/sackschultz2015 to enter.

Lilly’s pick (0-1): The misguided mutt picked Louisville over Auburn last week and lost. This week, it’s Falcons vs. Eagles. We switched from cheese to salami. Lilly went left: to the Falcons.

Lilly's picking the upset in the Falcons-Eagles game, as am I.

Lilly’s picking the upset in the Falcons-Eagles game. So am I.

 

Reader Comments 0

168 comments
SouthGeorgiaStrong
SouthGeorgiaStrong

Schults you should block everything from your brain. This is based on a article in the paper you can't comment on I have been around the Paul Johnson offence for years , His Georgia Southern years with great defenses. But if this offence fall too far behind their is 90% non-recovery because it scores fast and keeps the defense on the field a lot longer. the big boys can play big defense. So it wears down a defense against a grade A opponent.

Wilbo
Wilbo

And a 3rd time. Well, Schultz, I still believe the Falcons can lose this game, but with the ball and 2:18 to go, I guess they won't... 


I do hate to give you credit, but an incredible pick on your part. Good for you.

Wilbo
Wilbo

Well, I'll just be damned a second time.


Wilbo
Wilbo

This is where Matty Nice is prone to toss a lovely INT......

Wilbo
Wilbo

Whoa! That was a quick drive. Did the Falcons defense not come out on the field?

Wilbo
Wilbo

Well, I'll just be damned

Wilbo
Wilbo

Schultz, my man, you have said some incredibly stupid homer stuff. Incredibly stupid. Picking the Falcons to beat the Eagles is either gonna be one of the very most stupid - and I think it definitely will be - or a bold and brilliant step outside the box.


My hope is that you'll have the guts to admit what remarkably idiotic homer horse manure this pick is if the Phillies crush the Falcons.


I could be WAY wrong, but I wouldn't be even a bit surprised if this turned out something like 38-13 Philly. Of course, this is early in the season when any one win or loss doesn't mean that much, so the Falcons might actually play well - as opposed to in the playoffs, which the Falcons ain't gonna be in, where they would definitely flop.


I'll give you big props if you got this one right, I just hope people totally hammer your goober butt if this pick further proves you to be the absolute fool I think you are.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@JohnnyBuckles


Old news and well before the B1G going to a 9 game conf. 


Unlike all the coattail riders in the SEC! SEC! 

GWJ0525
GWJ0525

All I care is that Auburn beat Petrino as there was no way I wanted that clown winning in the Ga dome.

OH:IO
OH:IO

Auburn falls to #15 in the Coach's


SEC! SEC!


Hype


Finebaum is a clownshow

Jupiter_Jim
Jupiter_Jim

@OH:IO  Auburn was GIVEN a #6 ranking based on guessing and conference affiliation.  Auburn squeaked by a BAD Louisville team and an FCS opponent.  They shouldn't be ranked at all.  Arkansas...I called that one as soon as the rankings came out. What had they done to earn a ranking, aside from belonging to the SEC?  Missouri edged a team that USC absolutely rolled last week. 

JohnnyBuckles
JohnnyBuckles

GA Tech going to kill notre dame next week by 14  and I hate tech but they got a good team this year,Mississippi looks good TCU as well.

the soft seclude Ohio st will take them to the payoffs but it might hurt them while everyone else is playing tough teams  it might hurt Ohio St.

Georgia needs a quarterback 

OH:IO
OH:IO

@JohnnyBuckles


Ohio State ends with Top5 Mich State and Harbaugh's Michigan. Then, a conference CHAMPIONSHIP. 


Easy, right?

Big Wally
Big Wally

@DawgNole @OH:IO @JohnnyBuckles Ohio State's strength of schedule was #42, Georgia States' was #50.  Think about that, your schedule is comparable to a Sun Belt team.   Come back when you play a real schedule.

SEC adds Missouri and Tex. A&M.

Big 10 adds Rutgers and Maryland.  

Ask yourself this, which team is running away from programs, and which is adding tougher teams.

Mutley
Mutley

Isn't it terrible that the Ajc wants to stop real dialogue about Sat games. It will only be a matter of time before they stop this also. Just like all liberals they want dissenting opinions limited.

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Mutley


Agree


I hope Lil Chip is happy. He and Savior Skinny can follow each other on Facebook. 

JSSN
JSSN

@OH:IO @Mutley

Nope, take that mess to 'DawgNation' or ESPNot where it belongs!

OH:IO
OH:IO

Arkansas



Joke

OH:IO
OH:IO

Tennessee



Joke

Wreck13
Wreck13

@OH:IO Mizzou, Vandy, Kentucky, Florida and SC should be on that list. 

OH:IO
OH:IO

@Wreck13


Yep but we know they're JV. 


The Varsity, the Oh SO Vaunted West is also a joke. 

JohnnyBuckles
JohnnyBuckles

Didn't know we would still talking about the Ga/tech game but while were at it that's was the first time that tech had beat coach MR last year,and Georgia really looked bad in that game hell we should have game tech cake and ice cream after all the gift fumbles and I forgot to catch a kick off.

We need a quarterback Vandy made our qb look bad I'm wondering if Ramsey is the better choice for South Carolina next week.

Not taking nothing away from Vandy they have a great defense but the qb needs to be able to complete a pass before the 3rd quarter

Wreck13
Wreck13

@JohnnyBuckles FORCED fumbles are not gifts. You forgot to catch a kick in the Vandy games yesterday too. 

Paul Johnson is 2-2 in Athens so that was not the first time Tech beat Richt. 

JohnnyBuckles
JohnnyBuckles

@Wreck13 @JohnnyBuckles both of the running back reached out with one hand for the pylon for the touchdown against Tech I don't see it as forced fumbles it was just poor decisions by our backs.We need to make better decisions at QB or it's going to be a long season for Georgia right now were one dimensional and Vandy keyed in on that   

Wreck13
Wreck13

@JohnnyBuckles WRONG! Watch a replay. The balls were punched out or hit while the UGa back had the ball tucked. 

TOJacket
TOJacket

Hope all our Jawja teams stay healthy today...........and remember.......If we can't get along......let's just get it on!!!...........good luck to all.

HotDawg
HotDawg

Lilly's going senile in her old age.

Starting out 0-2.

ChuckinAlpharetta
ChuckinAlpharetta

I think it's elementary Physics - the Atlanta team will crush any and all expectations of its fans when on the big stage.


Being on MNF, Newton's rarely mentioned 22nd Law further states that the Falcons will be calling Chip Kelly "Big Daddy" (or whatever he prefers to be called in the heat of coital ecstasy) and asking if he'll call as he walks out of the building laughing, feeling aglow and renewed as only the joy of pummeling the Falcons in front of a national audience can.


His agent should start drafting an extension now, because Philly's GM will agree to anything with the feeling he'll have Tuesday morning.

Guyon
Guyon

The Falcons did not draft enough offensive linemen, as they should have. Now they are looking at castoffs. Dimitroff simply does not know how important linemen are. The offensive line will be the Falcon's downfall again. This will be three seasons in a row.

HotDawg
HotDawg

Problem was they didn't draft enough defense the past few years.

Now it's caught up to them and there's not enough picks to cover all their position needs.

And 90% of their picks lately have sucked.

SunDropMan
SunDropMan

Just a few years ago the NFL would not even schedule games on a Friday night due to high school games. Just another good reason for me to give up watching the NFL, and I only needed about one more as I have practically given it up anyway. It has become the "National Felon League".  The rest are over-paid, spoiled brats!  Not need at all to schedule any games on Friday nights!

Wreck13
Wreck13

@FarTrain Dad was watching Pitt v pats and i went in the other room to watch the Hill-toppers game. i can't watch much NFL and when I do it is the falcons and I just have to survive it. 

Jmonty
Jmonty

I think Oklahoma pounds it on the ground and gets by Tennessee.  I also think the Falcons (with a new "O" line) will have huge issues against Philly's "D".  I think the Falcons will be embarrassed...  Eagles 44 Falcons 17.  The line can't generate a rushing attack, nor can they pass protect.  Going to be a long start of the season. 

Hell Horsey
Hell Horsey

@Jmonty They'll go 1-3 against the NFC East, which means at least 3 losses in the first 5 games.