Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets roll, Spurrier escapes, Petrino goes down

 

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According to the “Economic Report of The President 2015,” which I happened to be reading the other day between old episodes of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” and three Pop Tarts, “In 2014,  the Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC) maintained a historically accommodative monetary policy stance. …. These tools included forward guidance for the future path of the Federal funds rate and additional purchases of longer-term U.S. Treasury securities and agency-guaranteed mortgage-backed securities. … The five-year decline of 7.0 percentage points in the deficit-to-GDP ratio since FY 2009 has been the largest since the demobilization….”

Everything you need to know is NOT in here.

Everything you need to know is NOT in here.

At which point I stabbed myself with a fork and screamed, “I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO’S GOING TO WIN THE AUBURN GAME!”

Hello. I am back.

This is the only financial forecast you need. The Economic Report of The President has been put out every year since 1947. If it was that big of a deal, it would’ve been made into a movie by now.

So you should know how this works  by now. Every week, the financial analysts of Weekend Predictions bring you the leading economic indicators for the week’s college football and NFL games, such as this nugget of insight from Georgia coach Mark Richt on Wednesday: “I went and got my prostate checked today.”

For weeks, Richt wouldn’t tell us what Faton Bauta’s completion percentage was in a scrimmage. Now he’s opening up on his bodily functions. Eventually, the media will break you.

Don’t worry. Weekend Predictions will continue its proud tradition of keeping my endocrine system out of the weekly conversation.

So back to me. By now, you should know how this works. Every week, I will give you the winners. It’s your job to find them. Occasionally, you will come across some “losses” (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know-what-I-mean) meant to throw off spies from competing investment strategists. You can find a key to these losses on Page 47 of the annual, “Economic Report of Weekend Predictions 2015,” which can be provided to you for $50 plus $27.50 for postage and handling.

Weekend Predictions also is again running the annual “Sack Schultz” contest, where you can attempt to pick games against me, and, of course, fail. Prizes include a $2,500 Apple Vacation, Chick-fil-A Bowl tickets, $50 Kroger gift cards, Fatheads and leftovers from the Falcons’ 2012 draft (gently used). Enter at www.AJC.com/go/sackschultz2015.

So this week, Georgia plays a snack cake, Louisiana-Monroe. Richt has been talking about his prostate and quoting Winston Churchill. It’s been tense, man. Greyson Lambert will start at quarterback, a decision of such significance this game that the line didn’t move from 35 points. Then again, Louisiana-Monroe upset Alabama in 2007 and Arkansas in 2012. So maybe we shouldn’t assume anything.

Hah! Just kidding. Nick Chubb runs for 150 if Richt keeps him in that long. For a quarter. Dogs cover the 35.

Donald Trump lays out his strategy “Sack Schultz 2015”

*** THURSDAY NIGHT WEB-ONLY SPECIALS ***

Alcorn State at Georgia Tech: Alcorn State won the Southwestern Athletic Conference last season. Their nickname is the Braves. Do you know why they won? Because John Hart didn’t trade everybody. Jackets cover 42½.

The East Tennessee State Football program has been defrosted and is back on the field.

The ETSU football program has been defrosted and is back on the field.

Kennesaw State at East Tennessee State: It’s the first ever football game for K-State, which seems to be doing things right. It’s also the first game for ETSU since 2003 when the program was stuck in a freezer on a shelf next to Ted Williams’ head. ETSU’s coach is 63-year-old Carl Torbush. I think he also had to be defrosted. Owls cover 4½.

North Carolina vs. South Carolina: It has been a tough offseason for Steve Spurrier. He has spent most of his time in front of the mirror yelling, “Boo!” but the mirror keeps laughing. Gamecocks cover 2½.

Spurrier has been losing it, as we see from his last news conference

EARLY SEASON VALUE MENU

(Pick three games and you will be entered in a contest to be DeKalb County CEO for a day! Vendors will be provided for you.)

Charlotte at Georgia State: Trent Miles is 1-23 in his first two seasons at Georgia State. The good thing about that is he can win this opener, then lose 23 straight and still say, “Hey boss, we haven’t taken a step back!” (Try the veal.) Panthers cover 7.

Louisville vs. Auburn (Georgia Dome): This is the closest Bobby Petrino has come to Auburn since secretly meeting behind an airplane hanger to interview for a job that wasn’t open. Ah, but that was in his formative years as a slug. And elsewhere this week, Idaho coach Paul Petrino closed practices to selected local media and allegedly threatened a reporter for “printing negative coverage of the team.” So it turns out the punk brother doesn’t fall far from the poison apple tree. Auburn covers 10½.

Florida State goes through pre-season workouts between extra-curricular activities in Tallahassee.

Florida State goes through pre-season workouts between extra-curricular activities in Tallahassee.

Wisconsin vs. Alabama (Arlington, Texas): Nick Saban has been beating himself up for not winning more than four national championships. “I feel like we’ve had good enough teams to win eight. I feel like I failed four times.” Question: So why is it this never comes up in negotiations when he asks for a new contract every year? Bammy covers 10½.

Texas State at Florida State: The point spread in this game has dropped from 37 to 29. Perhaps bookmakers started factoring in all of those leg chains in Tallahassee. Seminoles win but take Texas State and the candy.

Ohio State at Virginia Tech: The Buckeyes have had an entire offseason of hearing how great they are, which sometimes can lead to an opening week faceplant. Problem: Nobody faceplants against Virginia Tech anymore. Buckeyes win but take Hokies and 11.

Georgia Southern at West Virginia: The line for this game opened at Mountaineers minus-31. It’s now 19½. OK, I like the Eagles too but that’s enough respect. WVU covers.

Accountability scorecard

0-Sports-betting-tips

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” – W.C. Fields.

Last season: Can’t recall specifics but I was awesome.

Lock of the week: Kwikset.

Sack Schultz 2015: Think you can pick games better than me? You’re funny. Go to ajc.com/go/sackschultz2015 to enter.

Lilly’s pick: Lilly The Greek asked for a Julio Jones-like contract extension. I countered with sleeping outside in January. We compromised on cheese for picks again. Few good games this week but so we’re going with Louisville-Auburn. Cheese’d pictures of Gus Malzahn and a neck-braced Bobby Petrino were place on the wall. Lilly look left — and went to right… to hell! Lilly  picks Petrino and Louisville in an upset.

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Lilly started her picking season with an unpopular upset.

Recent ramblings
AJC: Falcons won Julio Jones trade but would like to forget 2012 draft
Dawgnation: Greyson Lambert’s big test won’t come in opener, it will be later
AJC: Hello, football: Thoughts on UGA, Tech, Kennesaw, both GSUs
Dawgnation: It’s Lambert over Ramsey for now, but assume nothing for future at Georgia
AJC: Falcons were never going to let Julio Jones get away
MyAJC: Gomes provides some needed comic relief to Braves’ season
MyAJC: Brian McCann makes his perfect return to Atlanta
AJC: Ready to start picking? ‘Sack Schultz 2015’ now open for business
Dawgnation: CFB Special: Mark Richt, empty nester, is seeking that winning feeling again
Dawgnation: CFB Special: Your flawless game-by-game predictions for Georgia
AJC: Arthur Blank says he’s backing away — this I’ve gotta see
Dawgnation: Richt having fun with stonewalling but UGA’s QB debate a real problem
MyAJC: Falcons have issues, so Matt Ryan can’t be one of them
AJC: Falcons sign Grossman, so we know what they think of backups
MyAJC: Braves’ Bethancourt says he has learned from mistakes
AJC: Hector Olivera gets two hits in Gwinnett debut, nears call-up
AJC: Dawgnation: S.I. says Georgia will go 10-2 (agree), play Auburn for SEC title (disagree)
AJC: Poll: Is Falcons’ biggest concern D-line, O-line, running back?
Dawgnation: Report: Georgia arrest-free lately but still ranks high (with rest of SEC) nationally
AJC: Falcons are putting trust in young running backs
MyAJC: Will Braves keep Julio Teheran in this makeover?
MyAJC: It’s more than just an exhibition game for Dan Quinn
AJC: Scheduling history suggests Falcons will win 10 games
AJC: Goodell, Brady have damaged reputations, need to settle
MyAJC: Falcons’ fortunes will tip on finding a pass rush
AJC: Dimitroff says Falcons not interested in Rice or Smith (for now)
MyAJC: Smoltz finally reunited with Glavine, Maddux
AJC: Digi-Blog goes to Cooperstown…
My AJC: John Smoltz did it right and did it clean
MyAJC: How Detroit landed John Smoltz — and then blew it with him
MyAJC: Smoltz’s drive carried in baseball — but not hockey or comedy
AJC: Julio Teheran trade rumors make no sense
MyAJC: For FSU, Jimbo Fisher, perception is reality
AJC: Will Frank Beamer be next coach to get ‘Bowden treatment’?
MyAJC: Tech went 11-3 but Paul Johnson warns to keep expectations in check
AJC: Swofford, ACC should get more involved with domestic violence issues
AJC: Fredi Gonzalez gets extension, and needs to make most of it
MyAJC: John Hart: I never made promises we were built to win

 

Reader Comments 0

83 comments
LOGS1973
LOGS1973

Yellow Jackets look strong, scary strong!! The dogs are already trembling!!

heeldawg
heeldawg

@LOGS1973 Sure.  Scared half to death.  Believe whatever makes you happy.

BobbyDawg
BobbyDawg

The Dawgs defense got just a little bit complacent after they got a good lead in the game resulting in the first score by ULM. They picked it back up and played well after that but I hope we don't see any of that when we play the top SEC teams. The better the team is, the harder it is to pick it back up. Complacency is a disease we don't need.

Wilbo
Wilbo

Dear Mr. Schultz, as much as I despise you and your insipid blog - and I still don't don't understand why the AJC won't hire professional writing talent - I will have to say the Florida State workout picture was funny.

OH:IO
OH:IO

dogs ban selfie sticks.......


deal with it


Ought to band Vanderbilt


SEC! SEC! LEAST

Grant1296
Grant1296

What the hell does "Ought to band Vanderbilt " mean???

Your a loser Techeye...

OH:IO
OH:IO

La Monroe?


Already snoring


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH:IO

Northern Illinois?

Hawaii?

Western Michigan?

Stifle, hypocrite.

Wreck13
Wreck13

can I get more FREE and paid for coverage of the UGa MUTT football team?

Wreck13
Wreck13

Is the HBCU fan gonna run his mouth after the The INSTITUTE Beat Down of Alcorn St?

HotDawg
HotDawg

Lilly just wanted to bite Petrino.

Wilbo
Wilbo

Jeff Schultz comes through with more lame, confused, poorly written, boring, unfunny garbage. Surprise. Why does the Atlanta Journal Constitution shove this kind of sophomoric uncreative crap in front of its readers? Does the AJC think its readership is dull enough to somehow be entertained by this garbled mess? 


AJC, really, please, you can do better than this.

HotDawg
HotDawg

It must be exhausting bitching about everything.

There is a lot more out there to read. Try something else instead of worrying about Schultz articles.

Steve_The_King_Spurrier
Steve_The_King_Spurrier

We end up in the dad-gummed Belkie bowl with more blue seats than shirts. A couple of years in Gainesville, we had ugly gals (trainers)on the sidelines. The cute ones were kept way further away. My new defense backs  were talking about UGA band girls during the commercial break. They're now working on their poker skills at the back of my equipment  bus. Its a shame focus is a brittle skill.Little heads do most of the thinking these days.


I miss player hydrating before the game. Follow the protocol and stay in the game. Eat the shellfish as provided and drink the dad gum Gamecock Ade instead of diet sodas. We're having a team meeting on keeping the right head in the game and hydrating. No more beer dure the school week.

charlestonian77
charlestonian77

what a bunch of chicken sh$ts bama and the sec is. bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.

they play a tough wisconsin team not in wisconsin but at texas am u stadium!

an SEC venue. 

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHY  SEC IS THE MOST OVER RATED CONFERENCE IN THE COUNTRY!!!!!!!!

when is bama going to play tosu in the horse shoe? 

HOW ABOUT NEVER.

lmao bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk say the sec fans and their hyped up conference.

PATHETIC.

go wisconsin.  go louisville. go heels beat the kochs. 

what a pathetic conference.



TreadLightly
TreadLightly

@charlestonian77 Bama & Wisconsin are playing in Arlington where the Dallas Cowboys play.

Get your facts straight before posting DA!!

DawgNole
DawgNole

@charlestonian77

When is tosu going to play Bama in Tuscaloosa?

HOW ABOUT NEVER.

You also forgot to mention how great tosu's record is against the SEC--especially in bowl games--or how GT has owned the Dawgs the past 14 seasons.

DUH!

JeffersonDavisHogg
JeffersonDavisHogg

Your hate of all things SEC is clouding your thought process. Yes the ACC had some success last year but until they can win against SEC competition on a consistent basis then the SEC as a whole is still the best conference in America with the PAC closing.

drbasic1
drbasic1

@charlestonian77  dude the game is in Arlington which is Cowboy stadium and NOT A&M stadium, get your facts straight so you don't look so much like a moron.

DoubleDawg
DoubleDawg

I'm interested in comparing the attendance of these neutral field games (Atlanta, Dallas, Charlotte).  You have SEC games in all cities but I bet Atlanta crushes the others in overall ticket sales.  I was shocked to hear how terrible the sales were for Alabama and Wisconsin (not bama's fault).

charlestonian77
charlestonian77

@DoubleDawg  its never bama's fault or the sec bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.

nothing but a bunch of chicken sXXXX!

likeitis
likeitis

@OH:IO ...I have asked you this before but never got an answer.....Isn't  a "Buckeye" some kind of  NUT  that grows on a small bush ?

likeitis
likeitis

Read your article JEFF....You need some serious Mental Health Help.

juvenal
juvenal

felony stuff u ref WAS funny...........

BCB
BCB

Auburn goes down.

DON1938
DON1938

Does anyone really take this clown (well, he thinks so) seriously??

GloryBetweenTheHedges
GloryBetweenTheHedges

Well Dawg Nation has been a blessing getting all the garbage post out but unfortunately when it gets to a Shultz or Bradley article you will still see some of the cancer present that lurks in a UGA related article.

UGADawgs
UGADawgs

Goodness.  All this time later the same losers still play on blogs all day?  gtbobby and that UGA obsessed ohio kid truly need some help.  Maybe try online dating?  At least you would then have something besides UGA and sports blogs. Then agian, I doubt anyone would want to meet you.  Tough call!

Tommy Trojan
Tommy Trojan

The BELK BOWL title defense starts this weekend!

Grant1296
Grant1296

Yep....That Holiday bowl last year was awesome...

Go Condoms...

Halfback
Halfback

Stats matter.  Since 2012, UGA had 22 player arrests, GT had one. Is there a trend here?

OH:IO
OH:IO

@DawginLex


How many conference Championships in the last decade?


How many National Championships in this Century? Last Century? Ever?


I'll hang up and listen. 

GloryBetweenTheHedges
GloryBetweenTheHedges

@OH:IO 

Its been nice not seeing you post in Dawg Nation. Have fun here with all your other loser buddy friends.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@Halfback

Yeah, stats do matter. In its past 14 games with UGA, GT has won twice.