The great thing about the holidays — aside from stuffing our faces with turkey, ham, dressing, gravy, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, more gravy, side one, side two, side three, all of which go with gravy, five rolls (hmm, what to dip these in?), cranberry sauce because even if you don’t eat it you need a red on the plate, some chips (shut up, they were there), three desserts and a diet Coke, after which even the dog who a few minutes earlier was licking crumbs off of Uncle Bob’s shoes gives you a look of disgust — are Black Friday ads for new toys.
I love toys. One day I’m going to tell my wife I need a “study” in my retirement house, but it’s going to be filled with a train set, a race car set, electronic Battleship, an old pinball game, Donkey Kong, and, of course, the Lego Strip Club.
Yes, that’s right, Bambi and Misty are now dancing on plastic block stages 1 and 2. “Citizen Brick” is selling a Lego-like set called, “Foxy Blox. Can’t wait to see what they do with Candy Land and the Play-Doh Fun Factory.
Citizen Brick is not an official Lego product. More like an off-shore bank account. It’s $275. No worries. They’ll take $1 bills.
The set comes with four figures, leopard-skin furniture, stage lights, a stripper pole and a gift certificate for one night at the Motel 6 for when you get kicked out of the house.
The set goes on sale Black Friday, which also begins a less depraved college football weekend (transition).
Missouri plays Arkansas Friday to determine the winner of the SEC East (Missouri or Georgia). Georgia and Georgia Tech play Saturday to determine annual in-your-face rights.
Paul Johnson took his first Tech team into Athens in 2008 and won. He’s 0-5 since. We call this a trend.
Tech is pretty good now, which wasn’t the case in September or October. But the Dogs can match the Jackets’ running game. They’re a little bigger. And I doubt Georgia will turn it over like Tech’s most recent victims (14 takeaways in four wins).
Legos change. Not this game. Not this year.
Georgia wins but take Tech and 13.
Rivalry week calls for an old school song
Big Game Week
Auburn at Alabama: Three losses suggest Auburn’s voodoo magic has run its course. That said: Nick, watch the return on missed field goals, just in case the Iron Ball falls down the rabbit hole again. Tide covers 9½.
Close your eyes, Bammy
Florida at Florida State: The Seminoles have trailed five times in the second half, three times in the fourth quarter and last week needed a field goal with three seconds left to beat Boston College. So they’re still undefeated but they’ve dropped in the playoff, AP and FBI rankings. Another escape but take Florida and 7½.
Arkansas at Missouri: The Razorbacks are facing their eighth ranked opponent of the season. “Our bye is ranked No. 7,” coach Bret Bielema cracked. Funny guy. When you go from 0-13 in the SEC to beating LSU and Ole Miss by a combined scored of 47-0, the welts don’t feel as bad. Mizzou didn’t tumble at Knoxville so Georgia’s hoping it faceplants at home. Could happen. Will happen. Razorbacks win a pick ’em, Dogs win the SEC East.
Mississippi State at Ole Miss: I don’t mean to douse the party in Starkville but has anybody else realized that the three ranked teams the Bulldogs beat early in the SEC season (LSU, Texas A&M, Auburn) are now a combined 10-11 in the conference? Upset alert: Take the 2, and Missy wins the Egg Bowl.
South Carolina at Clemson: There’s a rumor circulating that Dabo Swinney is a candidate for the Florida job. Seems appropriate that rumor will end this week. Hello, Steve Spurrier: Take South Carolina and four, and Dabo loses sixth straight to Steve-o.
Dabo keeps coming back for more
Kentucky at Louisville: Wrong season.
Virginia at Virginia Tech: This is what it has come to for the Hokies: They’re an underdog to Virginia to end the season. At home. Virginia is 0-4 on the road but not sure how many VaTech fans will show up, so: Cavaliers wins, cover 1.
Texas State at Georgia State: The Panthers held Clemson scoreless in the second half, primarily to screw up the cover bets in Las Vegas. That’s no way to make friends here. The other team covers 13½.
Pros and NFC South
Arizona at Falcons: They’re 4-7 and still in first place. Somewhere, an angel has lost his wings. And then he was dropped in alley. This should illustrate the toxic waste dump that is the NFC South: Tampa Bay (2-9) is two games out of first place but has the worst record in the conference and is one game ahead of the worst in the league. Coach Mike Smith tried to motivate his players with “1-0” T-shirts last week. Then he called time out. Put those in the rag bag. Also this team. Arizona covers 2½.
New England at Green Bay: Welcome to the Super Bowl in Game 12. Tom Brady: 26 TDs, 6 interceptions. Aaron Rodgers: 30 TDs, 3 ints. There’s a whole other world out there Falcons fans. Cheese covers 3.
World gathers for Brady vs. Rodgers
New Orleans at Pittsburgh: It makes absolutely no sense that the Saints would lose three straight home games and then go on the road to beat Pittsburgh. That’s why I’m sure it will happen. We’re way past logic here. Take the 3½ and Saints in an upset.
Washington at Indy: Robert Griffin III (2 TDs, 3 interceptions, 20 sacks, 1 massive ego) has been benched for Colt McCoy. Translation: For as wrong as Mike Shanahan was about a number of things, he was right about at least one. Colts cover 9½.
Last week: 8-5 straight up, 5-8 vs. line.
Season financials (flush it): 112-48 straight up, 71-89 vs. line.
Lilly’s pick: After taking a one-week sabbatical, complete with candles, incense and herbal dog bones, Lilly puts her 7-5 record on the line in the Georgia-Georgia Tech game. Cheese’d pictures of Uga and Buzz were posted. Lilly hesitated, then went left and chose Uga.
Sack Schultz update: Just two weeks left. Joe Bulvid of Holmdel, N.J. went 13-2 last week. Keith11 (screen name) of Georgia leads the overall standings with 144 wins but several are within a few picks. At 132, I need divine intervention.