Predictions’ straight poop: Dogs win SEC East, Falcons lose

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Before we get to this week’s burning question, “How can a poopy team be in first place?” the Weekend Predictions research team has come across a story that may explain it all, and it involves several forms of semi-toxic waste, as well as dismissed APS officials, former Oakland Raiders coaches and the skeletons in Tim Lee’s closet.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, we’re talking poop. In a story straight out of, “Back to the Future,” a “poo-powered bus” took to the streets of England this week. No, this is real, unlike my other research.

Just in case you thought I was making this up. (Courtesy Wessex Water)

Just in case you thought I was making this up. (Wessex Water)

The GEN-eco Bio Bus runs on biomethane, which according to a story in Thursday’s Guardian, is “generated through the treatment of sewage and food waste. It can travel up to 186 miles on one tank of gas, which takes the annual waste of around five people to produce.”

And like you, I don’t want to know how they came up with that math. But if it takes five Brits to run a bus, we can do it with four Americans! Why? Cause we’re ‘Merica!

Where was I? Oh yes, Neptune.

In the second strangest scientific development of the week, the Falcons are in first place in the NFC South despite a 4-6 record. They’ve accomplished this by going 4-0 against fellow division droppings but 0-6 against everybody else. Their next four opponents: Cleveland, Arizona, Green Bay, Pittsburgh. Combined record: 29-12.

Time to flush the season? Not yet, but close. Tough call but I’ll stick with non-South trends: Take the Browns and 3 and in a straight-up mild upset in the Dome.

*** Thursday Night Special ***

North Carolina at Duke: Georgia Tech is off but if Duke loses, the Jackets will win the ACC Coastal, and not that this matters but do you realize that six of the seven schools in the ACC Coastal are not actually in, like, a coastal city? Even I know that and I stunk in geography. On a related note, this is the most I’ve ever written about a Duke-North Carolina football game. Sorry, Jackets: Duke covers 6.

Back To School

This week's reward for beating Auburn.

This week’s reward for beating Auburn.

Milk-Bones at Georgia: If Todd Gurley wants to prop leg on a chair and set up an autograph kiosk at halftime, at this point it doesn’t matter. Charleston Southern players might want to get a few signatures while they’re here because they won’t see any of the $450,000 the school is getting for this public sacrifice. Ready for a party, Athens? See next pick. Meanwhile, in the undercard: Dogs cover 42½.

Missouri at Tennessee: Somewhere in Birmingham, SEC commissioner Mike Slive is sticking pins in his Gary Pinkel voodoo doll. SEC street cred takes a hit if Missouri wins two more games and makes it to the conference championship games despite a loss to Indiana. It would be like watching the fall of the Roman Empire. No worries yet, Caesar. Celebration for Georgia: Team Tangerine rolls and covers 3½ and Dogs win the East.

OK, kids. Don’t go crazy like this guy

Vanderbilt at Miss. State: Somebody checked out the rumor and it turns out Dan Mullen is not a candidate for the Florida job. So I guess he’ll have to start a new rumor. MSU wins but take Vandy and 30.

Georgia State at Clemson: The Panthers signed to play Washington and Clemson this season in exchange for $1.6 million and a trough of diluted Goodys powder post-game. Question: Shouldn’t a Georgia State administrator be forced to carry the ball at least once? Clemson covers 41.

That sound in the Georgia State athletics office

Miami at Virginia: After losing to Tech, Miami won three straight and had Florida State beat until the final three minutes. I’m sure there are a lot of really smart kids go to school in Coral Gables but none of them wrote the, “Fire Al Golden” signs at games. Canes cover 5½.

Boston College at Florida State of Enabling: As most of the nation and anybody whose moral fiber isn’t the consistency of nougat yells, “Lose! Lose! Lose!” at the TV screen during every FSU game, here’s two actual factuals for investors: B.C. is 4-0 on the road and FSU has won only three of its last 11 against the spread. Points. Yummy. Seminoles win but take the Eagles and 19½.

Mississippi at Arkansas: Nailed the Arkansas win over LSU last week. You’re welcome. We now return to your normal programming. Rebels cover 3.

Louisville at Notre Dame: Brian Kelly was upset that nobody was giving Notre Dame enough credit. Then he loss to Northwestern. Boom goes the dynamite. Irish cover 3½.

Not Brian Kelly before Northwestern game

NFL Snack Pack

The first volunteers show up to shovel snow.

The first volunteers show up to shovel snow.

Jets at Bills: You know there’s a lot of snow in Buffalo when even people there say, “Wow, there’s a lot of snow. Why the hell do we live here?” The Bills offered free tickets to those who would help shovel it at the stadium, but that plan didn’t work because the tickets were to a Bills game.  So the game likely will take place Monday in another city. Anywhere it’s played: Take the Jets and 4½ and straight up. (Update: The game has been rescheduled for Monday night in Detroit.)

Cardinals at Seahawks: Noted 2-year-old Marshawn Lynch stayed on the field at halftime last week rather than go to the locker room with his teammates. So finally the Seahawks and the media were at one. Seattle covers 6½.

Ravens at Saints: Ravens return to New Orleans for the first time since winning the Super Bowl.  The Saints also have been traveling back in time. They stink again. Take the Baltimore and 3½ but Saints win.

(Washington Team) at 49ers: Robert Griffin III threw teammates under the bus last week, so coach Jay Gruden threw Griffin under the bus, none of which changes the fact that Dan Snyder drives the bus and there’s no shortage of bodies under it. How about the Washington Greyhounds? Niners cover 9.

Bills’ tickets: Almost as good as total consciousness

Dollars and sense

Last week: 8-4 straight up, 6-6 against the line.

Totals: 104-43 straight up. 66-81 against the line.

Lock of the week: Deadbolt.

Sack Schultz update: Only two weeks left until we award the iPad and

???????????????????????????????smoker-grill as grand prizes. Of 5,000-plus contestants, 13 are within two of the lead. I’m nine back so I need help, or to play to Tampa Bay. Mike Hodge of Perry, OK., went 14-1 last week.

Lilly’s Pick: The mutt requested some personal time after picking Auburn last week to fall to 7-5.

• For previous episodes of Weekend Predictions, click here

 

A recent writer’s dozen from the digital jukebox
— AJC: Is Braves’ pursuit of Lester realistic?
— AJC: Braves trade Jason Heyward and John Hart just took huge risk
— MyAJC: It makes no sense but Falcons are in first
— AJC: Short takes on Falcons’ win over Panthers
— MyAJC: Dogs have a statement win, now hope for best with Gurley
— AJC: Short takes on Georgia’s win and Gurley
— MyAJC: As hoops open, Tech looks far more ready than Georgia
— AJC: Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets cross bridge, Falcons back to normal
— MyAJC: Ladies and gentlemen Georgia vs. Georgia Tech (in basketball, yes now)
— AJC: If Georgia wins out, would it sway playoff committee?
— MyAJC: All eyes are on Gurley (even if you can’t find him)
— AJC: Hart should deal both Uptons and Gattis
— MyAJC: Falcons’ division hopes hinge on beating teams other than Bucs
— AJC: Short takes on Falcons’ win over Tampa Bay
— MyAJC: If Georgia Tech has come together, we’ll find out against Clemson, UGA
— AJC: Short takes on Georgia Tech’s win over N.C. State
— AJC: Weekend Predictions: Falcons’ find their penicillin — the Bucs
— MyAJC: Amid Atlanta misery, can Hawks really be shining light?
— AJC: Election Day: Vote to keep or fire coaches (polls)
— MyAJC: Georgia blows it all with inexcusable performance
— AJC: Short takes on Georgia’s stunning loss to Florida
— AJC: Weekend Predictions: No Gurley (oooh, scary); but Dogs over Gators
— AJC: Rules are dumb but that’s no excuse for Todd Gurley
— MyAJC: Mark Richt deserves credit for holding Georgia together
— AJC: NCAA mum but Muschamp expects Gurley to play vs. Florida
— AJC: Will Arthur Blank make move with Mike Smith (and reader poll)?
 

Reader Comments 0

230 comments
HuckFinn1835
HuckFinn1835

GA TECH................65

UGA........................10

Well....a 9-3 season and another trip to a sorry bowl game is the kind of mediocrity that UGA has grown to expect.

NOVAJacket
NOVAJacket

Talk about a bad week of predicting....

JSSN
JSSN

Ha ha ha ha, Mike Smith!!!

HuckFinn1835
HuckFinn1835

Georgia Tech will whip the silly pups this weekend by no  less than four touchdowns.....then the silly bullfrogs will get kicked yet again by whomever they pay in the Music City Bowl.

HuckFinn1835
HuckFinn1835

Arkansas is better than Tennessee; it has more depth, better backs, serviceable passing and has shutout two excellent SEC West competitors....LSU and Ole Miss. They have a much better chance of taking down Mizzou, but don't count on it. Georgia had the opportunity to win against two pedestrian SEC East teams. It laid an egg in both games. It wouldn't win in Atlanta anyway. The SEC East might as well be represented by a good team that won't embarrass other SEC East teams. Everybody knows Georgia is too mediocre to be in a championship game.

Princess_Leia
Princess_Leia

"Celebration for Georgia: Team Tangerine rolls and covers 3½ and Dogs win the East."


Uh uh. Not gonna happen. 

OH-IO
OH-IO

Oh Boy!


It's Charleston Southern Classic Day! 

gtcaryd
gtcaryd

@OH-IO Will there be a Live Blog..........or a Dead one?

Buschleaguer
Buschleaguer

@OH-IO

I am glad you seem to be excited about CSU and UGA ,almost as much as I am with the Indiana/,Buckeyes game.Will be glued to B1G Network at Noon on Saturday. At 12:15 not so much.

CedricM
CedricM

fsu v. alabama for the title.  Noles by 6---take it to the bank!

kevkat
kevkat

JS are u apparently aren't going to get any sleep at night until Florida State loses...Many sleepless nights

OH-IO
OH-IO

3PM on Friday


The Friday TV listings are now up.


I missed the Noon tip of the Puerto Rico Classic


Damn you AJC! 

OH-IO
OH-IO

SEC! SEC!


Mississippi State head coach Dan Mullen announced the indefinite suspension of defensive back Justin Cox on Friday following the senior's involvement in what the school called "an off-campus incident" Thursday night.

According to a report from the Starkville Daily News, police said Cox was arrested on "on suspicion of burglary of a dwelling and aggravated domestic violence" after they responded to a burglary call and discovered a woman who has suffered a head injury.

GT71
GT71

Sorry, Schultz, but the only thing Duke covered was their hind-ends; their tails were covering their nads as they ran from Carolina.

No can write; no can pick.

Just right for this no brain paper in it's new no brain cover.

gtcaryd
gtcaryd

@GT71 71........Don't sugar coat it!.......give it to him straight up.

OH-IO
OH-IO

It's 1:36PM on FRIDAY and THURSDAY's Sports on TV listing is still up!


We DEMAND Betah! 

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH-IO

"Betah"???

Maybe you actually can't put up even one post w/o an error?!

Pretty shameful.

OH-IO
OH-IO

It's 11:54 AM on FRIDAY and THURSDAY's Sports on TV Listings is still up. 

OH-IO
OH-IO

@DoubleDawg @OH-IO


Unbeleivable


Atlanta sports TV listingsPosted:  3:27 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 8, 2011 | Filed in: Sports  

GT71
GT71

@OH-IO Not at all surprising. It's a union shop and they have a break from 4PM Thursday till 7PM Monday.  At which time they'll put in the ads, insert pics, get stoned, write a headline and call it a week.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH-IO @DoubleDawg

"Unbeleivable"???

C'mon, now--just ONE post w/o an error. Just ONE. You can do it. Surely you can. Can't you???

OH-IO
OH-IO

GET RID OF THE DARN WINTER WONDERLAND AD! 


Can't make it go away! 

SeminoleDale
SeminoleDale

You're just a hater Jeff, you must be a jealous UGag fan. Keep hating without knowing what you're talking about and we'll keep winning and making you miserable. #GONOLES

DoubleDawg
DoubleDawg

Looks like tech and UGA will back into their conference championship games... good thing we can play them head to head to temper the enthusiasm of the tech folks.  I was pulling for UNC last night.  I would much rather beat a confident happy tech team than one down in the dumps.  It is about time CPJ is putting a decent product on the field. 

DawgDadII
DawgDadII

Dawgs at this point have about a 1-in-3 chance of reaching the SEC Championship Game. Realistically, I don't see Mizzou losing to Tennessee or Arkansas.


Looking at the Falcons and their schedule, well, the Raiders beat the Chiefs last night, so anything COULD happen. The later in the season it gets the less likely it is to catch say, a Pittsburgh, not at the top of their game. Looking more and more like a 5-11 season with a potentially record-setting performance against Green Bay.

DawgDadII
DawgDadII

Add: If the Falcons go 5-11 or even 6-10, regardless of whether they win their Division, they will have improved only to that extent over 4-12 despite: (1) Return of Juilo Jones, (2) Addition of first round draft choice at LT, and (3) a last place vs. first place schedule.

PigIron
PigIron

@DawgDadII

Anything can happen, but I'd give Arkansas a better chance of upsetting Mizzou. Tennessee was already an underdog before they suspended their best defensive player, and they're also starting a third-string Center with no game experience.

OH-IO
OH-IO

Dr. Saturday's prediction:


Peach (December 31 in Atlanta, GA): Marshall (best non-Power 5 champ) vs. Georgia


Now that's funny

gtcaryd
gtcaryd

350 didn't stay long..........that's a shame.

OH-IO
OH-IO

Tech has punched their ticket


dogs depend on others


Sing Rockytop dogs, sing Rockytop 

gtcaryd
gtcaryd

@OH-IO Them dawgs is loving them Vowels this weekend.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH-IO

You on here lying again?!

GT did NOT punch its ticket; DUKE did--by collapsing at home vs UNC.

BigAlHeBDMan
BigAlHeBDMan

Hot Dawg! The Falcons are in first place no matter how you slice it. Good Job Mike Smith and Tommy D

dawg fan
dawg fan

ACC Coastal Chumps and on top of the world baby!! 


What an absolute joke of a football program.  And yes, I mean every word of that.

OH-IO
OH-IO

418,


Did you get your GurlME signed memorabilia?

OH-IO
OH-IO

418,


Good luck vs. Charleston Southern

Dawg350
Dawg350

Good luck on being a POS

POAD2014
POAD2014

@Dawg350 your not dead. We were worried you bit the bullet after the Gator loss.