Predictions: No Gurley, no Dogs, no kidding

chalkboard

Welcome back to Weekend Predictions and Occasional Spectacular Grease Fires, Inc., where we will vigorously defend your right to deduct all incorrect financial assumptions that the Falcons’ defense might someday force a punt but never will defend Adrian Peterson, who is alleged to have pilfered donations meant for his fraud foundation to fund an orgy, leading to the question, “Wait. Hookers are deductible? Or does that go under “miscellaneous business expense” with printer ink, desk chairs and Swedish independent contractors?

More on A.P.’s option offense later.

But first, we go to the big story: The End of the World.

There was an incorrect assumption that Georgia was in pretty good shape in the SEC East and wasn’t about to drop into a sinkhole. Then the NCAA happened. Wait, the NCAA is still around?

The Bulldogs were three-point favorites for Saturday’s game at Missouri. Then the Todd Gurley NCAA suspension story broke and Georgia fans could be seen swapping their SEC title game tickets for their neighbor’s ladder so they could climb to rooftops and leap off.

You would hate to think Gurley dared to sell autographs and profit from his likeness. Only fraud and archaic organizations like the NCAA are allowed to sell jerseys and bobblehead dolls, at least until some backhoe dumps the whole bunch into an Indianapolis landfill.

Bottom line: Without Gurley, the Dogs are yesterday’s toast. They rank 108th in passing. Can Hutson Mason suddenly morph into Roger Staubach? Is Gurley replaceable? I lean no.

Change of plans: Missouri wins.

 IS THIS ON THE TEST?

Duke at Georgia Tech: Duke after coach David Cutcliffe said it’s difficult to convince “high-end players” to go to Tech because of Paul Johnson’s offense. So Paul Johnson walked into a news conference like “B-Rabbit” in “8-Mile” and said, “How many receivers have they put in the NFL? I can tell you. None. They’ve had one offensive player drafted in the NFL in the last six years.” Tech: five offensive players, two receivers. Drop the mic. Jackets cover 3.

“B-Rabbit” vs. “Papa Doc” is NSFW, so here’s Paul “Kanye” Johnson

Alabama at Arkansas: To recap: A.J. McCarron ripped Alabama’s offense and said the team lacks a leader; Nick Saban said McCarron should never go against the family and sent him a dead fish wrapped in Luca Brasi’s bullet-proof vest; Fran Tarkenton ripped McCarron, which probably would’ve had more impact if anybody knew who Fran Tarkenton was;

The Sicilian (or Tuscaloosian) Message: McCarron sleeps with the fishes. (MovieImage5.Tripod.com)

The Sicilian (or Tuscaloosian) Message: A.J. McCarron sleeps with the fishes. (via MovieImage5.Tripod.com)

McCarron backtracked, said he could’ve worded things better and (ta-da!) blamed the media. You know what this means, don’t you? Alabama 137, Arkansas 3. (The 10 is covered.)

Mississippi at Texas A&M: Now every job Kevin Sumlin applies for a job, somebody on the search committee is going to say, “Are we sure we want to do this? He was losing 48-17 to Mississippi State?” Old Ms. is allowing an average of 10.2 points per game. If that continues this week Sumlin will be given a key to the state. Opens every Dollar store. Aggies cover 2.

Auburn at Mississippi State: Here’s how much things have changed in the SEC West: Some geranium on Twitter made terroristic threats against the Auburn coach and it wasn’t even an Alabama fan with a bucket of root killer. Nothing is sacred anymore. Meanwhile, Dan Mullen has turned Starkville into Bedford Falls. Waiter, a cup of normalcy, please: Auburn covers 3.

LSU at Florida: The Gators will start previous benched starter Jeff Driskel at quarterback because freshman Treon Harris, who led the comeback win over Tennessee, is being investigated of sexual assault, and Driskel’s backup is Skyler Mornhinweg, who brawled with a teammate this week after he accused him of stealing his spikes. You know, Urban Meyer did a much better job controlling his felons than Will Muschamp. LSU covers 1½.

Yes, Darth Dabo: You started with the wrong quarterback. (via QuotesDump.com)

Stormtrooper Dabo started with wrong QB. (QuotesDump)

Louisville at Clemson: Clemson quarterback DeShaun Watson has started two games, won both, and is completing 69 percent of his passes for 12 touchdowns and one interception. Asked if the Tigers (3-2) would be in a better position if Watson had started all season, Dabo Swinney, coughed and said he had a meeting to get to. Clemson wins but take Louisville and 9½.

Arkansas State at Georgia State: The Panthers have lost four straight but they’re 11-4 against the spread in their last 15. Maybe they should mine Las Vegas for athletic donors. Other team wins but take State and 10.

PROS AND CONS

Bears at Falcons: Jay Cutler has four interceptions and three fumbles (one lost) in the last two games, but if there’s one thing the Falcons’ defense is not going to do, it’s make jokes about somebody else, because, like, duh. But the Falcons are not quiet as silly at the Georgia Dome, and there’s also  the Devin Hester-I-Want-To-Destroy-Them-Factor. Falcons cover 3.

Mike Nolan has one plan left

Cowboys at Seahawks: Tony Romo has thrown only two interceptions during a four-game winning streak but in Seattle he’ll have to be aggressive and take chances and that’s usually when he channels his inner Jeff George. Seahawks cover 8.

Giants at Eagles: Chip Kelly may be revolutionizing the NFL with his sped-up offense but he might want to go old school and see if he can solve one little problem: The Eagles lead the league with 12 turnovers (eight by Nick Foles). Take the 2½ but Giants win in straight upset.

Patriots at Bills: This week, Bill Belichick showed up for the press conference but the media didn’t. Pats cover 3

Lions at Vikings: Peterson has been accused of pilfering foundation donations to fund an orgy. Peterson’s partial defense: It wasn’t an orgy, it was just a bunch of people in a hotel room having sex. Wait. What? Can’t wait for Peterson vs. IRS. Lions cover 1½.

Knucklehead memories: AP’s orgy up there with Vick’s ill-fated smuggle attempt

CREDITS AND DEBITS

winning-nfl-betting“Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.” – W.C. Fields

Last week: 8-4 overall, 6-6 against the spread.

Toteboard: 52-19 overall, 32-39 against the spread.

Lock of the week: Sunrise, 7:39.

Sack Schultz 2014: Week 6 winners were Richard Edgerly of Tybee Island and Jim Marshall of Phoenix. Both went 13-2. D.Bridges of Georgia is still the overall leader with 70 wins. I’ve dropped to 426th place (out of 4,407) and am considering going into a witness protection program.

Lilly’s Pick: She’s 4-2 and demanding I cut back on food with fillers and meat by-products. Feh. This week, it’s Georgia-Mizzou with a choice of cheese’d pictures of Uga and Truman. Lilly goes left: Georgia.

Lilly puts her .667 winning percentage on line and picks Georgia. (W.P. Glamour Shots)

Lilly puts her .667 winning percentage on line and picks Georgia. (W.P. Glamour Shots)

Reader Comments 0

118 comments
Catters
Catters

MISSISSIPPI STATE 38 AUBURN 23. Choke on THAT one, Schultz. The maroon and white Dawgs are FOR REAL and this IS the new normal. #HailState!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christ-mas
Christ-mas

take that Shultz and your the choke artist...."toast"


Missouri Is toasted....to the tune of 34-0.


Shows that you never played the game so you could not possibly understand a TEAM's heart.

Go predict rugby scores...you stink at doing it for cfb.

You're hatred for UGA and CMR is obvious.  And your jokes are as stale as 4 week old bread.

TampGator1
TampGator1

Hey Schultz......


Any interest in making a public apology concerning your "felony" comment about Muschamp above?  Harris is innocent.  Imagine that.  But I am sure you will bury that fact on your back page.  Innocence does not sell.  Slander does.  

Delbert_D
Delbert_D

Jeff, I've got a suggestion for Lilly's treats. Buddy Biscuits. No fillers. My dog is crazy about them. Created by a lady who was fed up with available doggie snacks. Check your local Kroger. Usual disclaimer; I have no financial interest, blah, blah.

maxman2660
maxman2660

jeff nice jab at that old fart fran tarkenton, hey fran keep your mouth shut old man no one gives a damn what you think

Dr. P.
Dr. P.

Gurley is physically ready for the NFL but his decision making needs another year. I hope he will realize he should stay, but I don't like the odds. Good luck Todd !

Legion of Doom
Legion of Doom

You know you're in trouble when you're a one man football team and your one man goes down. 

Jmonty
Jmonty

@ThulsaDoom  I think it's the media going overboard and some (note some) UGA fans going into a sprial...  UGA will be fine..  I think it's a bunch of fuss, drama, media chaos and doom and gloom over nothing. I commend UGA for stepping up and catching this before the NCAA could do anything. 

GTDude
GTDude

you Dawg lovers need to calm down, Chubb is the next man up and he has been doing great so far this season so what makes you think he would all of a sudden become a slouch?

you guys will be fine, it might even make your team better as everyone knows they need to work a little bit harder to compensate.

I still think you win this weekend

Good luck

DIT
DIT

@GTDude - Well put, I will be interested if the players can pick it up knowing that the main "go-to" guy is on the shelf.

bigdoggie1
bigdoggie1

@GTDude You must be a Tech grad? Only Tech grads are gracious and thoughtful! Thank you!

I wish y'all the best of luck the rest of the season...except for that last game!

Dasdguy
Dasdguy

This now becomes a function of the O line opening holes.  Which I think have been doing w/ or w/o Gurley.

Chubb and Douglas will step up. Everyone un-wad your panties.  Jeeeez.

CowbellHell
CowbellHell

PLEASE keep picking against us Schultz thank you!  You've been dead wrong all year much like the Corso curse.


STATE 48 - AUB 21

old lanier poet
old lanier poet

a petition to the white house??? Really?   And why would the WH be interested in this matter? 

Jmonty
Jmonty

@POAD2014 @centgaboy I think it would just the opposite..  It would should that Obama has more concern in college football, than real life issues in the middle east.

POAD2014
POAD2014

@centgaboy OBAMA would jump on this to find anything to deflect from all the mistakes and problems he has caused just to change the media info coming out of the WH.

DIT
DIT

@My-Guy - REALLY? What Gurley did was wrong, he knows it, the coaches know it and the White House could care less because this puts no money or golf balls into their pockets. This petition is a real stupid thing. Every year the rules are explained to them on what they can't do as endorsements. The was clearly stipulated when I went to College many, many moons ago. I hate it, but Gurley was wrong, let's just hope we can see him again this year in the Georgia backfield. Richt was right to suspend him right away. Hopefully this will give gurley a chance to play later this year. If not we have Nick Chubb who has the potential to step up and do well. Go Dawgs!

DawginLex
DawginLex

@My-Guy BIG rumor circulating that Gurley is leaving. His family apparently feels let down by UGA Administration

Rumor at this point

Jmonty
Jmonty

@My-Guy Really???  Troops are getting killed overseas and you want to clutter the White House with this?? 

DawginLex
DawginLex

@POAD2014 @DawginLex Rumor monger sys UGA lawyer is the one who got Gurley to fess up. Instead of searching for solid evidence proving guilt, he coerced a confession.

The Georgia Way=Honorable

This lawyer would never be employed by Auburn or Texas A&M

creative
creative

@Jmonty @My-Guy Pretty sure it's sort of a joke dude.   Are you you really outraged?  You could say the same thing about anything.  Please stop Tech look bad with your comments.  Obviously you are ex military and I appreciate your sacrifice.  

Jmonty
Jmonty

@DawginLex @POAD2014  I would like to think that.  Honestly my faith in college football is at an all time low.  Too much money involved.  Boosters doing illegal things to get recruits.  The focus on the "W" has seemed to overload the true focus of them being college students.  It would be great to see a honorable deed done a "big" school.  Even if it is UGA.

heeldawg
heeldawg

@DawginLex @POAD2014 The lawyer in question IS the same one employed by Auburn and Johnny Manziel.  You're just making stuff up right now.

QuarterMoon
QuarterMoon

I used to work in the same building as Fran Tarkenton. I shared an elevator with him several times. He seemed nice enough. He also never wore socks.

JackClemens
JackClemens

Gurley is special no doubt. However, many teams would love to have Nick Chubb and Brendan Douglas. They'll still be able to run and be able to win. Also, can former four-star A.J. Turman contribute? Is he hurt again, or is he just no good?

Already_Older
Already_Older

@JackClemens I  can definitely say that the school in Atlanta would love to have them.  Put those two in CPJ's offense, with JT at quarterback, and GT would be unstoppable.  They wouldn't even have to worry about the defense.

FlatTire
FlatTire

Every year its Top 10 recruiting classes and top 10 in player discipline issues 



TampGator1
TampGator1

Well.....we certainly are going to find out just how good Chubb is now.

POAD2014
POAD2014

No it was not a bad dream. .....I guess Gurley really is suspended.

It can't have been worth the money.....College sports are just crazy these days...It is a sad in Dog Nation.

Savdon
Savdon

@POAD2014 You are aware that Red Bull,and the likes, cause heart attacks?

Samoan Redcoat
Samoan Redcoat

Wait a minute, having a Top Ten recruiting class for the past ten years.....no problem for UGA.

RxDawg
RxDawg

I was getting myself prepared for a loss before this Gurley "buisness".  Sadly I'ts probably a certainty that we go down. We've just got to incomplete a team to do it without him. 

Jmonty
Jmonty

Gurley will be suspended, as long as UGA is winning against Mizzou..  Ironically enough, the suspension will probably end Nov. 1st when they play Florida..  and for good measure they may suspend him "as a sign of good faith" one more week and have him back by the Auburn game on the 15th. Keep in mind UGA suspended him, not the NCAA.  UGA will carry out the suspension over the time they play teams that aren't that good.  It still all comes down to winning and money.  The NCAA, nor UGA want to lose money.  Remember, college football is a business...  These coaches treat it as a business.  They expect the players to treat it as a business.  Funny enough, they words school, class and education are rarely used when describing top college football players. 

DawgNole
DawgNole

@Jmonty: "GA will carry out the suspension over the time they play teams that aren't that good."

________________________


Yeah, like one-loss Mizzou, for example, the defending East Division winner and the team that beat the only team that's beaten UGA.

Missed the boat on that one, Jm.

Jmonty
Jmonty

@DawgNole @Jmonty  The same team that lost to Indiana. It depends on which Mizzou team shows up.  The one that beat SC or the one that lost to Indiana.  :)  I honestly think this a bunch of chatter about nothing..  UGA can beat Mizzou wthout Gurley and can easily beat Arkansas.  Gurley will be back by the Florida game..  I don't think the suspension does anything but limit Gurley's overall yards this season.

dawgman912
dawgman912

Gurley is the best player no doubt, but now it is time for UGa to check themselves. there are 84 more players on that roster that need to man up and i think they will.

OH-IO
OH-IO

The Gators will start previous benched starter Jeff Driskel at quarterback because freshman Treon Harris, who led the comeback win over Tennessee, is being investigated of sexual assault, and Driskel’s backup is Skyler Mornhinweg, who brawled with a teammate this week after he accused him of stealing his spikes. You know, Urban Meyer did a much better job controlling his felons than Will Muschamp. LSU covers 1½.


=======


tampa,


BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TampGator1
TampGator1

@OH-IO 


No felonies under Muschamp......not even Harris to this point.  And it is looking like even Harris did nothing wrong if the rumors coming out are correct.  So, not sure why you and Schultz are sounding like a goat of a broken record. But, must say, surprised Schultz is acting like a troll.  You, expected.      

TampGator1
TampGator1

@OH-IO 


Hey jerk. Treon Harris is innocent.  But you don't care about that fact, do you? 

OH-IO
OH-IO

FREE LILLY! 

OOH-IO
OOH-IO

@OH-IO Already been said!  Come up with your own stuff.